Miserable

Today I gave in and was so miserable all day. Everything is just broken. I tried to fight it but honestly I did not have the strength to do so. I am just at my brink with the daily pressure and unhappiness. I do not feel secure. I try my best to comfort myself but don't really know how since whatever I do does not last very long. I just have nothing else to plug up the leaks with so everything is gushing out everywhere. I just stress cleaned in my house and it did help me a bit. I went through lots of paperwork while listening to the free 80's station. You should see all my bags of shredding. I did not binge, I have no appetite at all today. Actually I just want to cry and yet I cannot even do that. It seems like crying would at least make me feel some relief but it just won't come. I went to a free workshop yesterday. I was worried it was gonna be some wacky church or big sales pitch but it was not. It was 90 minutes and I am glad that I went. It was on re-inventing your life and they asked 10 questions. We worked on them together and I have been working on them since. I need and want to create a life vision but it is hard to see in the darkness. Today was a miserable day.