I Cannot Believe It Is Back

When I first met my ex about 4 lifetimes ago he had a jacket that he wore frequently. As things progressed he was going to get rid of it. It was nothing special but I always admired it - I like corduroy. What can I say? I was kid in the 70's. I asked him if I could try it on first, he said sure, and it fit! I was so excited. In my perceptions, he was so tall and slim and I was such a chunky buns, The fact that something of his fit made me feel amazing. Sure it was way too big for him but your mind sees what it wants and so I kept it. I wore it a couple times. I enjoyed the feeling it gave me - smaller and close to him. Eventually while out here I ended up giving it to goodwill. It no longer fit and I did not want the reminder.

While I will never say that it is cold out here (even when it is) I normally do not go out at night with only shorts and flip flops on. Once the sun goes down, since there is usually low to no humidity, it does get a bit too chilly for me. Yesterday I saw Freddy. We went to a Saturday matinee to see Horrible Bosses as I wanted to see a silly and goofy summertime comedy plus I liked the premise of getting revenge on some truly horrid bosses. It was great - totally delivered such obvious laughs that we had no choice other than to enjoy. Freddy said my laughing was making him laugh too, that pleased me.

I stayed past sundown which I had not planned and I got a bit chilly. Freddy said he would give me a jacket to borrow. He walks back out with the - excuse the language - fucking jacket! I know it is a different jacket but exactly the same style and color and size. I put it on and it fit and I just sat there thinking how insane is my world. I could not say a word - how could I explain all of this and not seem like a nut job - but I knew I would be blogging about it later. It was not a bad moment. I know the circles my life goes it and that this stuff happens to me all the time. What does it all mean? I will tell you exactly what it means. It means I was chilly and Freddy was kind to let me borrow a jacket that fit well and made me feel comfortable and warm - nothing more. I can see the circles and a circle is not always bad but I cannot always decipher it. This one I got loud and clear - no need to decipher, just enjoy.