Clarification

Some people have were not clear on my previous posts so I thought I would place this one as a summary. My company decided to consolidate my department into the main office back in MA. I fought this decision vehemently but lost and as of 03.31.09 the majority of my team was dismantled. We accomplished a great deal and we all leave with our heads held high but it does not mean it has been easy. I was offered a very good package to relocate back to MA and be part of the new structure there. I toiled with the decision for ages but just could not do it. I declined the offer and if I cannot come up with another position at the CA location then I will be laid off as pf 06.30.09. It makes so much sense - the money and the security but I could not say yes. Although I know I could easily return to my family and friends back there with all I have learned from my new experiences - I just was not ready. I can only say it best when I say I feel my happiness lies out here and I owe it to myself to look for it. Sure I know it will be hard but I was just not done with this journey yet. I am not even sure what my happiness means but I am glad for the first time ever that I feel I am an active participant in my life and my decisions and not just following the path that is there. If I fail I know I have a lot of family and friends I can depend on but if I succeed I know I will be a more complete and happy person. I am excited about my future. I am excited to be in control.