Summary of Events

So here is the lowdown.  Last Tuesday they put me under and zapped my kidney stones.  The good news is that there were no complications and I am getting better so this will all turn out great.  That is not to say this little episode was not without incident.  I don't know why I cannot just get the common cold like every other normal person.  When I woke up from anesthesia I told the nurse that I had to go to the bathroom.  She was very nice and I know how exceedingly hard her job is but she told me that I did not have to that it was just the stent and from the procedure   I told her no that I really had to.  She said no.  I begged and pleaded until finally she at let me stand and try.  Well I did go and along with going I screamed because of the pain.  It was like I was pissing lava.  She apologized as she could see she was wrong and that I did have to go.  

Later that day I go home and everything was fine unless I had to pee.  I had very little control over this function and am so super glad I do not have rugs.  Each time I went pee the pain was excruciating and completely red with blood.  I got to the point where I would shove a towel in my mouth to muffle the yelling.  The next day there was still pain but it was different.  It was no longer in my penis it was in my kidney.  Each time I went pee it felt like I was being pummeled with kidney punches - hence the yelling continued.

Thursday was much better so I was happy that I could see continual improvement.  The pain was definitely less and not simply because of the meds.  There as also a lot less "clean up on aisle 3".  Come Friday I decided to go to work.  I did not piss myself on Friday at work so I put the day into the "good day" column and was pleased with myself.  Most agreed that not pissing oneself at work is deserved of a good day rating.  I do have a stent though which has a string on it so basically think of a rip cord dangling from my winky.  While at work I did accidentally zip up the string of the stent into my fly and as I turned for the door I quickly realized my error - ouch!  Still a good day.

Monday I go for them to remove the stent.  In this modern day and age I can still explain this "medical" procedure very simply as this:  they are going to hold the string and yank it.  I am already dreading the pain and have picked out a stick to bring with me so that I can bite on it as they yank.  

In case you are wondering what connection the above picture has with this post - well none really.  I just figured I earned something nice in my life after this week.