This post is not about this bush in the yard that I am obsessed with. I don't even know what kind of bush it is but I get this view of it every day and it just fascinates me. What this post is about is something that I have never said before. This will actually be the first time I even verbalized it but I have been thinking a lot for a while and definitely over this weekend that perhaps it is time to end my CA adventure. It is not drama and I am not upset. I just am not sure what is left to this adventure and am thinking a lot about MA. Maybe it is that getting sick at 3:30am and having to go to the hospital alone scared me. Erin, Juan Carlos and Carla all live 5 minutes from me and I know they would have helped me but I still felt very alone. I know you get out of anything what you put into it and I have put in a lot. I do not feel defeated or conquered, quite the opposite actually. I have done stuff that I never thought I was capable of. I am a bit tired of the struggle and know that it won't be absolute heaven 100% of the time regardless of where I live. But at least I will have family dinners and parties at times and I like that idea. I am not sure where I am going with this post. I am also not sure what else I want to accomplish. Perhaps I need figure out what I want to accomplish and then it will be easier to see where I want to accomplish it. In the meantime I will continue to look at the bush and enjoy it.
No comments:
Post a Comment