Day of the Dead

I will not be participating in any Day of the Dead rituals but it is a very important day in Mexico.  It is day to remember those who have past with respect, gifts, payer and good thoughts.  It is a very positive time and one to enjoy even if bittersweet.  Here is a picture Judy dressed up for Halloween in a Day of the Dead costume.  How crazy creative is she?  She looks awesome and authentic.  Amazing job.

Not Sure This Works

The winter will be here soon enough and my baldy head gets chilly at night.  I have a knit hat that makes me look like a cross between a serial killer and a bank robber - not a good mix but I am aiming for warmth not style.  Well I came across this hat and just love it.  It is so soft and warm.  As for how it looks I am not sure if it is stylish or one more step closer toward crazy old man.  But whatever, I am gonna wear and be happy to be warm.

Happy Halloween

I hope everyone is safe and sound and dry!  It was Halloween but no one in my department dressed up.  On my way home from work I drove slowly through some neighborhoods to see Trick or Treaters as I never get any - guess the hill is too daunting.  Although I looked for them I did not see any Trick or Treaters???  Boo!  So it did not seem very much like Halloween but I was still happy it was Halloween.  This is the Jack o Lantern that my neighbors made - how awesome did it come out?  Unfortunately just after they put it out we then had that warm spell and so it did not last too long.  The bright side is that the heat made it very scary looking very quickly so I am glad I snapped this picture right away!  Kind of an odd Halloween for me and with the craziness of Sandy it was odd for plenty but I hope you all found a way to enjoy.

I Am Worried

Be careful everyone one.  This really does seem nuts and I hope everyone remains safe and sound.  Please.

Ooooh Scary Sexy

Halloween is almost here and check and it looks like the treats being given to all the little devils are some yummy pieces of cheesecake.  

Because I am Helpful

You know one day I will no longer be here.  I do not mean here in CA I me here on the Earth in general.  I don't like that thought but I have lots of things in my reality that I do not like the thought of.  But as I consider this it does dawn on me that I somebody is going to get straddled with the awful job of digging my place out. I am not a total hoarder - there will be no dead cat skeletons found, but I do have some odd stuff hanging round.  Because I do realize this I think I will document some of the odder things in order to assist the poor person that will inevitably be thinking, "What the hell???".

When you come across the item in the above picture then I would like to help you.  I had this electronic thingy that was for flossing my teeth.  The tips came in the above Oral B box and while I normally do not have a problem throwing out trash I do get stuck on boxes - you do know that and I have no delusions   I recently had to make some tags for an activity that my weight loss group was doing and so I had to punch holes out of the tags.  I used a star punch and of course ended up with coloured stars.  I did not know what to do with the stars as I did not need them but I could not put them in the trash like a normal person.  Instead I put the stars into the Oral B box and as clearly as I can spell my name, I know some person cleaning my house one day will be super confused by it.  

So there you have it - perhaps not the most exciting post ever but it is what I thought about this weekend and there will be more posts to explain more odd things.

Silly Stones

I went to the urologist today for my kidney stone follow up.  I thought that when the pain stopped that it meant the stones passed and the the second episode of pain meant a second stone.  I found out that is incorrect.  The second episode is from the same pesky stone!  My first attack as in March and so the stone has moved but it is still there and it is very large.  Since it has been 7 months the doctor said it is not going to pass on it's own he needs to go in and get it.  I will have to go in for a day procedure.  They will put me under anesthesia and then insert a laser in my winky and zap the stone.  I am not looking forward to that at all!  Luckily I do have health insurance and luckily the pain from the last episode (with the two doses of morphine) is still fresh enough in my mind that I will agree to anything that means I will not have that pain again.  It does have me freaked out a bit.  I have said it before, I get very needy when I am ill.  I will need a ride to the hospital and back and have plenty of friends that I am sure will help me but I hate asking.  I don't like being needy.  I don't like for asking things.  It is silly of me I know and I have to do this to get rid of those silly stones but it all is starting to weigh heavy on my mind.  I do my best to keep my messes to myself. This blog is really one of my primary outlets as I know mostly I get worried over nothing and writing it down helps me greatly.  I do not have a date yet but the doctor said they will call me and let me know the date.  It will all be worked out for the best.  I don't know why I get so many odd medical issues but just keep thinking how lucky that this happened this year while I have insurance and not last year.  

Accidental Awful Uncle

I posted in my blog before that I like sending little things to the kids and often I send scratch tickets to the older ones because they are exciting and easy to mail.  I also talked about how I had fake tickets to send them but just could not as it would not be a funny joke, just a mean one.  I did though send the Mexican scratch tickets that I got.  I let my nieces know that they were from Mexico and they were real.  My niece that goes to school in Virginia is very lucky and wins a lot of things like raffles and lotteries.  She called me all excited because she won 100 dollars - omg!  At first I was like WOW then was like heeeyy wait a minute - those tickets are from Mexico that is NOT 100 dollars but 100 pesos which converts to about 8 dollars.   OH MY!  She was so mad!  I went from awesome uncle to awful uncle and it was so not my fault. I apologized up and down and she said it was ok because with 8 dollars she can still enjoy a couple visits to Starbucks.  So bad of me I totally did not think of the pesos vs dollars factor when I mailed the tickets although now I am still wondering why a college student would be thinking a Mexican lottery ticket would pay out in US dollars - hmmmm.

How's the Weather?

Mother nature is being nuts!  Yesterday I got a text from my niece back east - they had an earthquake and she felt it.  Although not many large earthquakes back east there is a large fault line and it was a 4.6 - that is sizable for that area.  I looked it up and it happened at 7:12pm, centered in southern Maine and it lasted 10 seconds which was certainly 10 seconds of oh my god for my niece   For me today I felt like it was bit warm in Escondido.  It did not start off warm and the Santa Ana's are not blowing but by this afternoon I was thinking wow it is a little warm today.  Later when I got home I checked and it was 100 degrees in Esco!  How crazy!  The average temperature at this time of year is 79 degrees.  It is even still warm now as I write this.  I am not sure how long the heat will last - although probably longer than 10 seconds -- but I am thinking the kids will be trick or treating in shorts this year.

Thinking....

This post is not about this bush in the yard that I am obsessed with.  I don't even know what kind of bush it is but I get this view of it every day and it just fascinates me.  What this post is about is something that I have never said before.  This will actually be the first time I even verbalized it but I have been thinking a lot for a while and definitely over this weekend that perhaps it is time to end my CA adventure.  It is not drama and I am not upset.  I just am not sure what is left to this adventure and am thinking a lot about MA.  Maybe it is that getting sick at 3:30am and having to go to the hospital alone scared me.  Erin, Juan Carlos and Carla all live 5 minutes from me and I know they would have helped me but I still felt very alone.  I know you get out of anything what you put into it and I have put in a lot.   I do not feel defeated or conquered, quite the opposite actually.  I have done stuff that I never thought I was capable of.  I am a bit tired of the struggle and know that it won't be absolute heaven 100% of the time regardless of where I live.  But at least I will have family dinners and parties at times and I like that idea.  I am not sure where I am going with this post.  I am also not sure what else I want to accomplish.  Perhaps I need figure out what I want to accomplish and then it will be easier to see where I want to accomplish it.  In the meantime I will continue to look at the bush and enjoy it.

Emily Dickinson: Time and Eternity

LOOK back on time with kindly eyes,

He doubtless did his best;

How softly sinks his trembling sun

In human nature's west!

Great Date!

No not that kind :(  I was just excited all day today that it was 10.11.12.  Nothing major happened.  It was cool and a bit rainy but felt super nice.  I worked then went for a walk in the rain.  I did drive my car to work today but wanted to enjoy the rain as who knows when we will see it again.  So nothing monumental to report for this great day other than to say that I was here in the world for it and so I enjoyed.

Mexican Radio

I came across this super odd station that I am now obsessed with!  It is a station from Mexico so all the in between chatter is in horrendous Spanish -- you know how DJ's over enunciate everything but all the songs are in English and are 70's AM gold!  It is like listening to the lost 45's!  It so blows my mind.  Do you have any concept of how odd it is to go about living your life in 2012 listening to songs like "I've Never Been to Me" by Charlene, "Angie Baby" by Helen Reddy, "The Most Beautiful Girl" by Charlie Rich, or "Baby Don't Get Hooked on Me" by Mac Davis???  I love it - especially with all the walking I have been doing again recently. I heard this song by Debbie Boone and fell instantly in love.  I had never heard it before so make sure to google it as soon as I got home -- a new Debbie Boone song and google as a verb - the world is nuts.  Turns out this song was used in some ad campaign in Mexico so was super popular and so they play it a lot!  And every time they do I smile and sign along.  So play this song and smile and sing along with me - it is so perfect!

Sail On

Good but odd news to report - since the massively bad kidney stone attack I had on last Friday night, I have not had anymore pain at all.  So weird,  that was the worst attack ever and it just went away.  I am not complaining, I am super happy not to have any more pain.  I got my doctor's referral and now just need to wait for my urologist appointment.  We will see what he says but I will definitely do whatever he recommends as I cannot have that happen again.  Since everything seems to be calm right now and gas prices are still insane, I am gonna walk to work for the rest of the week.  Off we go.

Not Again

Yesterday I had a normal average day.  Then last night I relaxed with tv.  By Fridays I am very tired so I normally have a low key Friday night.  I went off to bed tired from the week and happy it was the weekend but other than that nothing really to speak of.  Then at 3am WHAM - I am startled awake from my sleep with pain and immediately I knew it was another kidney stone attack.  The stone is trying to pass through your system and so sitting or lying down makes the agonizing pain completely unbearable.  I took a lot of ibuprofen and then paced for 90 minutes because that soothes me and normally makes it feel better.  But last night it just kept getting worse and I knew I could not make it until 9am when the Urgent Care center opens up so I went to the hospital.   I had to wait about an hour and the whole time I paced and moaned in utter pain and went to the men's room like 1,000 times.  When they took me in I was crying, begging and pleading for pain relief medicine - they must have thought I was an addict.  By time they got me medicine I had been in level 10 pain for 3 hours!  They ended up giving me morphine.  I have never had morphine before but I know it is strong.  It helped but 30 minutes after they gave me a dose I was still at level 8 pain so they gave me another does of morphine.  How nuts is that??? Two doses.  The 2nd dose at least got me down to a level 4 pain which felt like utter heaven.  It was at that point they could finally do a cat scan.   Turns out I had two stones - one 2mm which is not too bad but one 6mm which is insane.  I googled a size chart tonight and could not believe my eyes.  The doctor even said that he was surprised it only took 2 doses of morphine to get the pain under control.  They let me rest a little while they watched me and then send me home with some medicine's - including pain medicine as the attacks always happen the same way - in the middle of the night and with no warning.  They told me I have a cyst on my kidney also and need to see a urologist.  I contacted my primary care immediately and just have to wait for a referral to make the appointment.  I did sleep some when I got home from the hospital and have not had needed any pain medicine this afternoon other than some more ibuprofen.  I am  afraid to go to sleep but I am going to take one of the prescription pain pills just in case plus it will help me stay calm. This is crazy.  I know that at times I indulge too much in alcohol and that could cause liver problems but my kidneys?  I drink lots and lots of water.  It is the main thing I drink.  I cannot wait to talk to the urologist as I have to get this under control.   I hope I have a restful and non-eventful sleep tonight and wish the same for all of you.

Liquid Gold

OMG Gas prices went up like 20 cents over night from Thursday to Friday!  The 2012 Mayan doomsday is fast approaching.  This insane!!!  I walked to work three times this week for exercise.  Next week I am going to have to walk even more for budgetary reasons.  All of that and I took this picture of the prices at the place that is the most reasonable place in town for gas.  The world has gone crazy.

Crazy Mail

I have my niece that is now 15 that I told you I send mail to regularly.  She has trouble communicating in person but can get everything across in writing so always respond promptly to her.  She has gotten really good at mail - I swear she can get a letter to me as quick as most people can get a text to me.  I love sending mail but I try to keep it interesting so always include little treasures like lottery tickets, stickers, pictures, book marks, anything I see that I can mail easily.  In addition to that I have 3 nieces and nephews in college and so I have to keep their mail boxes full since I do not do Skype.  It is starting to get difficult to keep finding little surprises but check these out.  First I have Mexican scratch tickets - they are real, have not been scratched and do not have one word of English on them!  I think that will throw them all for a loop and worst case scenario they can bring them to Spanish class and have their teachers translate.  In addition last week at the dog fair there was a stand selling handmade knit finger puppets --- how odd and random???  The thought of the kids Skyping with finger puppets and well I just could not pass it up.  I cherish that I am the insane uncle but now I am on the hunt all over again for more stuff to mail.  It is never ending but enjoyable.

I Need to Do This More - Ouch

When I get stressed over personal troubles and worries then the first thing I lose focus on is excercise.  That is so bad to do since it is so hard to get back on the wagon.  So today I had the resolve the put the recently consuming bullshit aside and get back on track.  I need to start riding my bike again but today instead I thought I would kick it off again by walking to work. OUCH - I am sore!  Walking there is fine it, is the walk home that kills me.  It is close to 3 miles one way.  I am so tired and even got blisters!  But I will walk again tomorrow and Friday too.  I think that is a very good start but will do everything I can to keep the movement going over the weekend too.  

Vintage Esco

There is a deli in downtown and I checked it out for the first time recently.  It was pricey but my sandwich was super yummy.  What was the best about the deli though was this vintage photo of downtown Escondido.  I always find a treasure when I am out and about and this one is awesome.  I took a picture of the picture but this was the best quality I could get it - I stink at indoors photography (can you see my reflection on the left hand side of the picture?).  I still love it.  Based off the super Art Deco billboard above the theater, which has the Palomar Observatory I blogged about recently, I  would say it is the 30's but that is just a guess.  The theater building is still there although not in operation and without the awesome billboard.  You can see the theater now in my Woofstock posting.  I am not sure what the parade is for but it looks very patriotic.  I wish I could get a copy of this picture for real but until then I will just enjoy this super cool copy I made for myself.

Never Can Say Goodbye

Never say never.  I don't know why I have such a problem saying the word goodbye.  I have not had many people leave my life and even less that I have asked to leave.  It truly kills me to say goodbye - even when I know I need to.  When I was in school an English teacher once told me that there is a specific word that always says exactly what is most appropriate and needed.  Which means that need to say goodbye at times and still so struggle with it.  That being said, today I said goodbye.  I just cant't do it anymore.  The stress of not saying goodbye is so much worse than saying goodbye.  I am in a corner and so that is it.  It is right, it is correct and everything will be better because of it.  Now I  just have to stick with it and I suck even worse at that then the actual saying goodbye part but I have to do it.  I always forget that at one point it will just be out of my head and only a rare blip on the radar at times. Never say never but do say goodbye at times.  It may be the only way to save yourself.