8 Bucks

I go to a different gym location now as I like the set up there much better. The new gym location happens to be near a very large thrift shop that I rarely go to and so I wandered in there last week. I ended up spending 8 bucks -- 4 on a pair of used Cole Hann shoes for me and 4 on a band new with tags Marc Ecko belt for Oscar. Does not make me feel good to say this but even spending 8 bucks and getting a great deals makes me nervous. 8 bucks is a lot nowadays.

I have never bought used shoes but for casual shoes, they still had some life in them, plus they are Cole Hann's so I know they are made well. I took them home and cleaned them up and wore them. Not only were they super comfortable still, I even got a compliment. It all made me think - this is my first pair of Cole Hann's and my ex had a closet full of them when I left, and they were not purchased from the thrift shop. Honestly I rarely think of him but he does still pop up and probably always will. I felt a little annoyed thinking about his closet full of shoes and so I chided myself. It is so water under the bridge and so not worth it. Plus I made the decisions I did and took the actions I took and there is no changing it. I was not forced to dig through the clearance section for my $19.99 Rockport's - but I did and I made that decision and action. Whatever - I put it all aside and continued with my week.

Oscar's belt was atrocious - it was 3 years old and he really got every penny's worth out of it. When I saw this new Ecko belt with tags at the thrift store I knew it was perfect. The right size - which is so freaking small - plus it had snaps so that you can use different belt buckles with it and I know he has more than one belt buckle. What another great deal - even more exciting than my shoes. When I saw Oscar this weekend I gave him the belt - he immediately put it on and threw out his old one as new one fit perfect! To quote his exact words, "Muchas gracias, muchas gracias, muchas gracias, mi angel!". While definitely not living in the lap of luxury he certainly does not live in squalor either but he sincerely appreciates everything plus always expresses that appreciation. You would have thought I just gave him a porche. Sure it was a 30 dollar belt that I paid 4 bucks for but it is still just a belt. And I did not buy if for him to be his savior or look for a thank you. I bought it just because I knew he needed it.

It brought me back to my ex and his fucking shoes as that was the difference. Oscar - just my friend - appreciates everything and he tells me so and freely demonstrates it. It is all I ever wanted from my ex. I realize that it does not matter what you do as it will not guarantee the response from another that you may want. Also I certainly did not spend that long with my ex because I was only looking for a thank you - but at the end of the day a thank you is what I wanted. When the story was over and done and the book was closed - was a small bit of gratitude an excessive thing for me to look for. In this case, the answer was yes. I never got my thank you and I never will. Yet I certainly got plenty of hatred and placed on the lifelong grudge list. Plus I know, and he knows, what I did. Although I will never get my thank you - I do have gracious people in my life and so am really not that bad off at all. He will always have an ungrateful person in his life as he is that ungrateful person. I am happy I spent those 8 bucks.