Not So Good

Friday was good. I felt great and went to my old company and touched base with some of my old coworkers. It was good to catch up and it was also good to hear that the bullshit does not change as it reinforces my decision was a good one - which I question daily as of late. Later I went out and hung with some acquaintances and of course made plenty new acquaintances. I am gonna stick with the word acquaintance as it is simple to make those but friends, well that is another story. Even with my self esteem challenges, I know I am a good friend but that area has been a challenge out here. I have Rick though and so I cannot be too negative as one Rick is worth one million acquaintances. In any case I felt ill for the rest of the weekend. I could barely get out of bed on Saturday and Sunday. I forced myself out of the house so that I could go to the park - get some sun, fresh air and a small bit of exercise. Just to stroll around knowing that I was only doing it to help get better. A couple things happened physically that wigged me out - if they continue I will see the doctor this week but I hope they just pass. I did not smoke all Saturday and Sunday - I always struggle with that bad habit but I knew I just had to put that aside. Anyway I think I will go to the gym now. I know it is late and I don't wanna work out just get out of the house for a bit more today and feel like another small bout of exercise will help even more, so perhaps a stroll on the treadmill. I apologize as I know this post is not too exciting or enjoyable but for as much as I see life as an adventure - some days are well just that, another day.