Sunday, December 04, 2011

Oh Mr. Blue

I was kinda sad today. I don't really know why but I just kinda was. I know that I have not figured out a steady schedule for exercise to go with my new job and that is bugging me. I also know that exercise keeps a happy level of natural happy chemicals in your brain. But I am not sure. Tomorrow there is a party at my weight loss group and I am ready for it but just have not been giving it my all. I also have a crush on a straight friend and that is so making me feel like and 8th grader. We used to work together and I did not like him at all when we worked together. He is the complete opposite of me, in just about every way. But we stayed in touch somehow. He was unemployed while I was unemployed so we hung out a couple times and it went from there. And now I have this weirdo crush. Then to top if off, I was describing him to a friend and how odd this crush is to me and as I described him it dawned on me how eerily similar he is to my ex. Boy that was an unsettling thought. Perhaps it is all the Christmas carols. Christmas carols are so beautiful, I just love them but they me feel so sad. This is for real, nutty. I know they are supposed to be joyous but joy translates to sadness for me because their beauty is so overwhelming. I am sure I will shake this, I just have to exercise regularly, stay away from the donut shop, just enjoy having a good friend and stop playing Christmas carols. Ahhh at least I have a to do list for this week.

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