Flying Solo

Tomorrow I leave for NYC and am excited still although I am going alone because Jose is no more. He had a lot of personal problems to sort out and I unsderstood that and did not add to his problems but he still pushed me away. His concerns were legit - like problems with his family in Mexico, his family here, his job, his car, etc. I was not looking for much time at all but he said he had too much stress and no time at all. I am sad that he pushed me away but everyone deals with things differently. To me if there is a lot of crap going on then I hold the good stuff even dearer to me. However he is not me so I told him that made me sad but he needs to do what he has to do and he has my number. I was surprised but life continues on and now I am off to NYC to enjoy myself nonetheless. I don't mean to be cavalier about it as I was thrilled at how well it started off but however one hard lesson I have learned in this world is that sadness of a let down is much easier to take than the frustration of trying to make something work when you are the only one putting in effort.