80's Night

More to follow....

Ya Know...

Sometimes holding it all together feels like this.

Perfume Genius - 'Hood'

Just discovered this.  Amazing what is out there.  So much insanity on the internet then you stumble across this and you know the internet is the just most amazing place ever.

You would never call me baby
If you knew me truly
Oh but I waited so long for your love
I am scared baby that I can't keep it up for long

Boy I wish I grew up the second
I first held you in my arms
Underneath this hood you kiss
I tick like a bomb

You would never call me baby
If you knew me truly
Oh but I waited so long for you love
I will fight baby not to do you wrong

SOAK - Sea Creatures

Been so obsessed with this song for several months now.  Cannot get over it.
"When they tell you, they love you, well they don't mean it - I don't think they know what they mean.  I don't think they know what love is. Throw it around like it is worthless".
I am not particularly down, I just love this song.  Makes me envious that another human can create such beauty, passion, and emotion.  But I so enjoy that they do.

7th Anniversary

7 years ago from today I made my first post.  Wow, that is just crazy.  I know I struggled with posting recently but here I sit 7 years to the day creating another post.  No pearls of wisdom on this 7th anniversary.  Its all good.  And to explain the picture I put in copper to eBay as copper is the traditional gift 7th anniversary gift - I swear it is.  Well as I scrolled through I came across this antique Egyptian plate.  I cannot not get enough of Egypt lately so really was excited to see it.  I love the Egyptian motif.  Thanks to the discovery of Tutankhamen tomb in the early 20th century there was a huge Egyptian revival period in the 1920's - especially in jewelry and home decor.  I hunt around eBay to look at the different items because it is fun.  I don't need to own it as just looking is good for me.  Although this plate is awesome and to own it would be cool.  It is only $165 in case you are in the market for a 7th anniversary payment.  Hahahaha teasing. I own it now as is it is since I added it to my blog.  

03.15.2015

Wow busy weekend.  Friday was the 13th, yesterday was PI or Pie Day (03.14.15) and today is the Ides of March.  I however had a very low key weekend which is good because it was a difficult start to the week.  I had to go to San Diego to take care of something.  This is not the right forum for details but it was just some financial stuff.  It is all set now but it was difficult for me.  I am usually pretty fine flying solo but for this one I needed to muster up a bunch of power.  In the end I got it done and feel good but I dunno, it does wander round and round my head.  Well I am doing better than Caesar on this day so we will day it's a win.

Friday the 13th

Staying on the luck theme today was the second Friday the 13th of 2015.  Was a good day for me.  Nothing bad, nothing awesome but plenty just all right and that is good with me.

7 Years of Bad Luck

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Judy and I we talking and she asked me some questions about my ex.  They were just questions out of curiosity but I really did not know the answers.  Water longtime past under the bridge.  Also his way to deal with things is to figuratively kill people off.  I saw him do it to many people including his very own father so it made sense when he did the same to me his substitute father figure - although it is still hurtful.  Curiosity gets to us all at times so with a little cyber stalking on both our parts turns out he got married and is doing fine.  Everything matched with what I ever knew, nothing is different.  All the pictures were with drinks (the only way he could ever relax) and all the discussion was around travel (the only thing that made him happy - yet another avenue of escape his reality).  One post that made me chuckle was excitement over a trip to Mexico as I can be standing in Mexico with just a 30 minute ride lol.  Marriage does not surprise me.  It became legal when I lived in MA and he talked about it then and I was like ummmm no.  The part that really got me is that he changed his name.  It struck me most because I would NEVER change my name.  I may not have the most prestigious name but it is mine and my parents gave it to me and I would NEVER give it up. Because of my own point of view I found it shocking he gave up his but it makes sense.  He HATES his father and he was a junior so his own name literally reminded him daily of all that he despises.  He also is embarrassed of his overall family and where he is from.  I am not.  I love my family.  They are crazy and far from perfect but I did well in that department.  I love them.  Judy and I had laughs and it was all silly as we learned nothing ever really changes.  Judy asked if any of it bothered me and I answered honestly that it did not.  I do not wish him harm, I do not wish him fortune, he is just another person in the world.  With that being said I did tell her that I am good with not knowing anything else more for another 7 years. 

On to the Next Party

Lesley Gore passed away today.  That makes me sad.  I loved her.  I remember going to see her perform live in Boston with my parents as part of the Oldies 103 free concert series.  Oh swoon.  She was just wonderful.  For me the Holy Trinity is made up of Dusty Springfield, Petula Clark and Lesley Gore, now only Petula remains with us.  Luckily they will all remain with us forever and will always be held dearly.   She truly was special for me.

Happy Valentine's Day

I hope you all had a great Valentine's Day!  You are loved and so that makes every day wonderful and not just today.  In deciding what to post I thought I would put up an image of what is my heart.  I picked all the words and filled up my heart.  The results made me smile.  Tons of crap going on and things to work on but its ok.  I have a smile right now and that is wonderful.  Enjoy!

Follow the Signs to San Diego - Happiness is Calling

LOVE THIS!  It just came out and they did such a good job.  Looks great, sounds great and is fun.  Matt and Kym watch this!  Whoever they paid to do this, they really got a great return on their investment.  This so perked me up in a time when I wonder just why do I keep hanging in there.  Big smile.

Almost

My friend's mother passed away last year and my friend asked me to go through some the mother's stuff to see if it was of value.  I said sure, especially since now I have a lot of free time on my hands.  Well the other day she sent me a picture she found in the garage and asked me to look into it.  I could not find anything so I asked yesterday if there was a signature and so she sent me it to me.  It took a little bit this morning but I identified the signature of that of JH Sharp, a well know artist that was based in Taos, NM.  As I was looking around I found an article of someone who has a JH Sharp painting in their home, did not know the value, brought it to the Antiques Roadshow, and it was appraised it for $400.000.  I was like WOOHOO.  I was less excited about the value but more excited over possibly finding a treasure!  I love stories like that although I wish on one of my Salvation Army visits I could true Faberge egg or something like that!  Well long story short she sent me the original picture the other day and I only looked at it on my phone.  I did not realize that it was just a lithograph not a painting.  I said she still needs to have it checked out.  I know lithographs can do well also but there are so many variables.  I was still a bit excited but not as excited when I thought it was an actual painting.  In my text to her today I wrote, "I liked this game better when it was a $400,000 painting -lol".  Oh well :) 

Always A Challenge

When one door closes then another one opens.  I have kinda come to hate that fucking expression.  Things were really looking bright for 2015.  I thought I had finally gotten things lined up but now I no longer have my part time job.  Cut backs do to poor store sales and I am below part time and full time so off they sent me.  Although I did a good job I always knew I was totally disposable, everyone working there is just a number and they know it.  They get a regular customer satisfaction score and it was always in the toilet overall for the whole store even though I got numerous 10's (the best possible score).  One month I got 8 surveys on me rated as a 10.  Management does not want to see that since everyone knows they are nothing but a number it reflects in the overall score being sucky.  No one cares because they are not cared about.  Anyway I can't solve their problem and just need to focus on my own.  I am scared because the money really, really helped but I still have my full time job and it is going well.  I was getting tired of working so much so maybe the universe is saying I need a break.  I absolutely know I need to focus on my weight too as it is atrocious.  I can get by on my day job it just keeps me on a tight, tight budget which I am used to.  I do have eBay stuff I can post.  I can get back to that.  I enjoy doing that.  I dunno, so many doors but I will figure out which one to open.  

Academic Challenge

Carla drives a bus for Escondido school systems.  She had to drive some kids from one high school in town to another high school in town so she had me meet her downtown for dinner.  We got sandwiches and it was good to see her.  BUT the super awesome part was the high school kids she was driving were having an Academic Challenge.  I love Academic Challenge because it is really just trivia and I am so good with random, useless knowledge.  Just ask Matt - we played trivia at the bar and he was surprised at both how good I was and how competitive it made me.  The school it was in was where they used to make the local newspaper and they just converted it over to a school.  We went in to check it out.  It was cool to see the building being re-purposed - made me happy.  But then we went into the actual challenge to watch it for a bit and I was in heaven - was sooooo awesome.  They were two teams of nerds.  One team of nerds had matching polo shirts with their embroidered logo and we super competitive.  The other team was just a bunch of super awkward high school kids -- I was dying!  The professional looking team was the team that Carla drove and they were kicking butt.  The awkward kids were super bad.  That team was made up of 5 kids - 4 girls and a boy.  The boy sat at the end and totally did not interact with the girls at all and kept making faces at how hard all the questions were (and they were!).  He was so funny.  You totally knew that girls begged him to be on the team that day because they were short a person and would not have been able to complete otherwise LOL.  The really good team had alternate players and everything.  They kept swapping out players like it was the super bowl.  The questions were so hard but I was trying to guess them - oh I so wanted to be on that stage with a buzzer!!!  This was all serious business and there were parents and students in the audience cheering the teams on.  I was trying sooooo hard not to be loud and make a disturbance when they were asking the questions but that is usually a difficult feat for me in general never mind when I am all excited over something like this.  How crazy fun that all turned out to be.  The team Carla drove won big team but of course I was rooting for the rag tag team cuz everyone loves an underdog.

National Cheese Lovers Day

National Cheese Lovers Day (which is today 01.20.2015) seems like an odd day to return but it is as good a day as any, especially since I went to the discount grocery outlet and get this huge wheel of brie for only $3.99.  That is almost 2 lbs of brie!!!  So not good for my waistline but a treasure and indulgence that I will enjoy.  Money is still a little crazy but hey I can afford to snack on brie lol.  

OK so where have I been for 4 months?  I guess the short answer is here.  2014 was very, very, very difficult year for me.  I could not think or write anymore.  People say I should write whatever I think but this is public so I cannot.  I can say again that my last company threw me for a huge loop and so caught me off guard when they let me go.  Then I had to work on money and still do not have that totally resolved but am getting there.  Now I have been at my new job for 6 months and am very, very happy there but everyday I think - what happens if I get the rug pulled out from me again?  I have zero magic tricks left and that makes me nervous.  

But I look back and I made 2014 work somehow.  My part time job and eBay.  I so sold the shit outta eBay and it saved me.  It was a lot of work.  I felt scared for so long it just made me numb.  But on a better note, how did I end the year???  I went to Massachusetts for Christmas!  Oh it was so awesome.  It had been over a year and a half since I was there and that was just way too long for me.  I loved every single second of it - every second.  I missed my mother A LOT and she missed me even more.  I talk with her regularly but seeing someone is different.  I spent sooooo much time with my nieces and nephews and it was fantastic.  We talked and ate and laughed and enjoyed!  I also got to see so many friends.  Has been hard to make real friends out here - REAL friends like I have back there.  Judy even came and spent Christmas with my loco family and she survived.  Made me happy to have her there and spend time with her but also for her to see firsthand why I like my nutty family so much and so enjoy seeing them.

I am even more energized because I already have my tickets to return in June.  I had some points that I used so got a super deal.  This is great news because I will able to see both my nieces graduate from high school this year.  It make me happy to be there for moments like that.  I cannot wait.  Ok so I will write more soon.  I am feeling more excited about writing and have stuff to say again. I just don't wanna say it all in one big post.  I have to pace myself.