Yellow

November threw me for a bit of a loop but now December is here and so am I.  I am still working on things and fluctuate regularly from everything is good to holy shit what how am I going to do this.  But I want to put that aside to send you all a big thank you.  Many of you contacted me and gave me so much wonderful support.  It means the world to me.  Perhaps for others there are more important things but the key to me is that I need to feel like it matters that I am here (in general not California).  Having all your support is exactly what tells me I do matter.  All of you matter too - I could do any of this without you.  So in appreciation of all that I do have, I also have some gifts for you -- this little yellow flower, the symbol of friendship, that I got at the dollar store and repotted in a yellow vase I got at the thift shop -- $1.50 in total so you can enjoy and I can see each and everyday to remember you.  My other gifts for you are my true and sincere friendship - you know I am in it until the end - along with all my love.  Family is wonderful but they have to love me -- friends do so because they want to.  I have said it before but will say it again - I am a very lucky man.