Happy Anniversary

I am so happy for William and Kate - Happy Anniversary.  I remember staying up all night to watch the wedding live, hey I was unemployed at the time.  Seriously I just love their story.  The fairytale come true is not a prince marrying a commoner but two people totally in love getting married and being happy together.  You feel their affection.  It makes them radiate.  Such a great story. 

The Epicenter

Judy said recently that she was watching an old VHS tape and it had a Lechmere commercial on it, I just about died.  I was like I need that for my blog and then she suggested going to to youtube and of course there were plenty - seriously how weird is the internet.

Lechemere was just the epicenter of it all.  So much of my life relates back to it, even today thanks to the amazing friendships that I forged there.  Not even for a moment can imagine what my life would be like without it.  First of all I was good at that job, really good.  Secondly, so many people that have enhanced my life and are still in my life to this day is thanks to Lechmere.  It ties through a lot of my life and radically altered me for the better.  And although I think often and fondly of those days - I do not have to get too nostalgic as I kept those stunning people that I made friends of and they are still having a wonderful contribution to my life today and who I am.  Ahhhhhhh the Lechmere days.  Applying for that cashier job was one of the best actions that I have even taken.

Uncle Scott

Honestly everyday it is a little bit of a struggle to remember what is good in this world, to stay positive and to count my blessings.  I have long thought that I just cannot figure this world out and because I have tried so much that it means I cannot come to an answer other than I am just not meant for it.  That is not dramatic it is just a thought that I think and that I cannot shake.  It should not be so hard.  I am not saying it should be easy or I expect it to be easy but I am just a bit tired of it all.  

Anyway I have this damned specter that always shadows me and last night when I got home I saw this letter taped to the post boxes.  It was a letter from my niece that always writes to me me.  I should take a picture of the stack of letters that I have from her.  I really do cherish them as I know it is difficult to express herself in other ways so I am glad she can write to me in order to express herself.  The letter must have gotten put into someone else's box in error but she addresses them simply as "Uncle Scott" so I assume they did not know where it belong and so they just taped it to the outside of the boxes.  I love that she addresses all her letters like that.  I love knowing that they travel all the way from the east coast to the west coast just bearing the name "Uncle Scott" and that they still get delivered to me.  It makes me feel special, like there is only one so it is no problem to travel 2,500 miles addressed like that since everyone knows who it is meant for.  I always love getting her letters but seeing it taped up there like that , it really made my day.

Of course I took a picture of it and I was going to upload it to this post but upon second thought decided not to as it contains her full name and our addresses.  I do have the picture though and saved it.  I think it would be a good idea to get it printed and put it on my fridge as I enjoy it so.  I am going to do that.   

Deal with the Devil

I could not get donuts off my mind today.  I want to start making progress again but I could just not shake donuts.  So as I contemplated donuts at work today it popped into my pea brain that the evil donut shop is about 2 miles away.  Once that seed got planted I then made a deal with myself.  The deal I agreed to was that I could have a donut if I walked down and got it - so that is 4 miles round trip.  I have made worse agreements with myself so I saw it as a good bargain and after I got out of work I strapped on mp3 player and started walking like a man with a mission.

I don't know why I obsess over donuts.  I don't know why I obsess over food in general.   I was happy just walking.  I like walking.  I can see so much more than when I am driving.  Plus I can stop whenever I want.  I smile and say hi to folks.  Sometimes I chit chat.  I even got beeped at because I will admit, I think I was even  dancing a bit when I got beeped at while I waited for the crosswalk at Grand Ave - totally not my fault - it is nearly impossible to stand completely still as Chrissy Hynde stutters "I love ya, I love ya, I love ya" in the Pretenders' song "Message of Love".

I guess I should have just walked and forgone the donut.  I am not going to let the guilt get to me too much.  It does make me remind how often I was told that it was simply that I had no will power.  I do think I am a little weaker than most.  I don't know that it is a fatal flow but it does bug me and nag at me at times.  But the walk made for a nice time.  The weather is always so nice as the sun starts to go down.  They had a little bench in the shade and I sat and watched the general hub bub.  I sent silly texts to people.

I do feel a little bothered.  It was fun though.  

More Stuff I Found

I have noticed a trend that I am trying to shape my blog to show the world as I see it.  I know how frivolous  it is but it speaks more to the fact that I like frivolity.  I get so serious and moody at times but I am light hearted and forever just excited over what I see and what I find.

Here are just a couple more examples for you:

I did not think that they made this candy anymore but totally remembered it from when I was a kid..  I went for a ride to nowhere and I stopped at a really small one off convenient store and there on the dusty and a tad scary shelves was Toffifay.  Perhaps not the most exciting post ever but trust me I was very excited.  I try to be so good on the weekends as weigh in is on Mondays but I splurged and treated myself.  Maybe they are still around but I do not know as I do my best to avoid the candy aisle.    The thought did dawn on me that perhaps they had been sitting in that little scary shop since the 80's and either I should buy them to resell on eBay or they were gonna be gross.  Well if they were from the 80's then I can testify firsthand that Toffifay has a longer shelf life than Twinkies.  They were heaven!  Exactly as I remember - yum.

Look what I found on the sidewalk!  Michelle used to give me so much grief for picking stuff up off the street but there is so much good stuff to be had, although I will admit I do end up picking up a lot of what truly is just trash.  Check these out - handmade seed necklaces!  I feel a bit bad as they must have taken house to make - and not one but two!  I saw the blue one first and thought, how lucky -then right nearby I saw the green one - double plus good!  (Oh for little game to show I just a marshmallow head - do you know where "double plus good" is from?)  I am not sure if you can tell by the picture but they are super shiny and bright.  They are in great condition too.  I have blogged about my niece before that writes to me all the time.  I am gonna mail them to her.  I don't know what she will do with them but I thought they would be a fun item to show up in mailbox.  Just think from the sidewalks of Southern California to the post boxes of New England - how fun, right?!?  

Poker Face

I do not have a poker face - I just don't.  I haven't needed one so I have not developed one.  Because of this, if I like you then you know that I love you.  I have mentioned Sharlowe before, she is in my weight loss group, and I LOVE her.  She is wonderful and spectacular and when I see her I always feel great and smile so hard it hurts.  This might not be very good as I am the leader now of the group and I do not want people to have the perception that I have favorites, but I do.  I cannot even tell you specifically why I am so enamored with her.  Instead of a poker face, very early on, what I did develop was the sense to be able to tell very quickly who had that certain special something and then made sure I put forth effort to have them in my life.  It is what I can see around a person that draws me to them.  Not like an aura per se but an intuition.  It certainly had been on the mark.  The amount of friends I have cultivated and enjoyed is something that makes be both happy and proud.

I loved, loVED, LOVED Sharlowe and then I found out she makes homemade cards.  I have posted some before.  OMG for me that is like winning the lottery and then being told you do not have to pay taxes.  She is so lovely.  Did I mention that I love her?  She sent me the above card this week and as you can tell it has put a huge smile on my face.  And for as awesome as this card is, she hand painted the watering can, it is not she enclosed that made me say aloud, "That is why I love her".  Here is her note:

"Hey Scott!  Just a note to that you for all you do for us at TOPS.  Your attitude is amazing and you keep us all upbeat.  You are looking great and I can see that you are eating healthy foods.  It is so hard to change bad habits, but you are doing it!  I appreciate your friendly smiling ways.  Keep on doing what works for you and thank you for helping us."

Ahhhhh, did I mention that I love her????

Happy Christmas

It really threw me for a big loop that I was not able to return to Boston last Christmas to see my family.  I guess I am corny.  I know they are not perfect and they are nuts but I truly love my family.  I went through a lot in 2011 and to not be able to go back was a hard adjustment to make, even though I did have a nice holiday with good friends.  I never even considered for a moment that I would not be with my family at a Christmas time.  It is the same as trying to imagine my name is Charles, why would I? I know a lot of people that were like, "Oh you are so lucky that you do not have to deal with the family drama for Christmas".  Each time I heard this I only thought, "No I am lucky that I do not have to deal with the family drama ever because these is none."  My family is insane, so am I, hence I enjoy being around them.  Collective insantiy is very comforting. 

Well I am super glad and grateful that I will be in the Boston area in early June to see both my niece and nephew graduate.  It is important for me to be there for such a big day.  I want to be there.  So I am glad that is all set but in addition, today I saw a really good price on a flight for Christmas 2012.  End of December is hard as my company is entering into busy season but I just had to ask for a couple days off.  If the answer was no then it would be no but it if was yes then I would be able to take advantage of this great deal and not have to miss another family Christmas.  My boss said yes!   Bam!  I bought my ticket and it is all lined up.  I will be in Boston for Christmas 2012 and I am happy that I will be.  It is not ideal in that I need to fly back on Christmas day but I will be there for 4 full days previous to that.  What an awesome and super early Christmas present.   

Laughter Class

Well a complete 180 from my last post, last night we had an instructor come in to my weight loss group and she gave a laugh class.  You know this whole touchy feely Southern California experience is sometimes so not my thing.  I am very much a New Englander at heart, no matter where I live.  I was truly like "Now what the hell is this nonsense all about".  It turned out to be just that, silly nonsense which made it so excellent.  This woman was not a comedian she just gave us all these different types of laughs we had to do as a group.  You have to make yourself laugh and of course that makes you feel silly and then you start laughing for real, which is contagious and so everyone is then really laughing.  We did belly laughs, shy laughs. laughed at bad foods like donuts and cookies and laughed at bad weeks like when we gain.  We laughed, and we laughed and we laughed some more.  It was a good bonding exercise as you need to really let go of your inhibitions and accept people laughing at you since you look nutty (not a totally new phenomenon for me).  Plus laughing for 30 minutes is exercise, I totally burned calories.  I was starting to sweat and my face was red.  To top it off, when I got home I felt soooooo great - all those endorphins that I released, wow.  The instructor gives a monthly class and I think I am going to do it on a regular basis.  I cannot think of one single reason not to do it.  Make sure you laugh today - regardless of how you feel or what is going on, you will not regret it - I guarantee it!  

So Sad

Wow, one hundred years ago the Titanic sank.  It is crazy that it was a hundred years ago and it is still so said. Just seems like humanity's hubris lead to this tragedy and yet people still believe they are end all be all in this universe - at times anyway.  

I remember when the movie was so huge years ago and my ex wanted to see it so bad and I just said no and no and no again.  I did not see the point.  I am not an ostrich, I know what happens and how it ends and how incredibly tragic it was - I just did not need to watch it or see it with my own eyes.  Well we did eventually watch it and it was as sad as I knew it would be and it upset me for a while.  

But on today I made sure to be thankful as I realize although I do my best to be in control and navigate the sometimes choppy waters of life - I do not have the hubris to believe I can be in control.  So I am thankful I am safe and comfortable and feel bad for those that did not or do not experience the same.

Spanish II

Tonight was my first night of my Spanish II class.  I was very excited as I waited outside the room when I noticed that it was me and a bunch of old ladies waiting to go in.  I am looking around and thinking - seriously WTF???  Why I always surrounded by old ladies???  Sure I love me some old ladies - I mean they get wear what they want and say what they want and totally live life without a filter and no one cares at all - how awesome is that?  Literally they are completely insane and the world just accepts it as completely normal - love that!  Plus Lord know the old ladies sure do love me.  Perhaps very strange or weird but old ladies just adore the gays.

Well class starts and luckily some married folks show up - it is actually a good size class although I am still definitely the youngest student there.  I have not had formal Spanish class for a while so I was really excited about this Spanish II class, as I wrote about before in my blog.  It turns out that in this Spanish II class, oh which by the way but of course is taught by a sweet old lady who used to be an elementary school teacher, I am the only one - other than the teacher - that speaks Spanish.  The world so confuses me.  My life is truly a bad sitcom in which I do not wish to be the star!

The teacher read to us in Spanish "Little Red Ridding Hood".  Hello folks we all know the story, no real curve balls here and there are not many big words so it was pretty easy to follow along.  When she read it I was seriously getting flashbacks to Miss Jean in Romper Room and starting looking around from my snacks and mat so I could take a nap.  Then the teacher reads us the story again only this time she would have a dramtic pause at a keyword so we could say it.  I am sitting saying, "Nina, roja, abuela, casa, lobo, hambre, miedo, ojos grandes, " etc - nothing difficult.  The class was starring at me in utter amazement.  They were all like, "How is he doing it?".  I swear they thought I was a plant since it was just me and the teacher basically doing the exercise when it should have been the teacher and the whole class.  I seriously felt like that guy whose plane crashed on a remote island in the South Pacific and the local natives thought he was a god.

All that insanity being said there is still a brightside because there always is:  I really need to practice my pronunciation and I could truly focus on it but of course repeating "Buenos dias"  one hundred times will kinda help with that.  

Lunchtime Walk

It was a nice day out today so I went for a walk at my lunch time and listened to my mp3 player.  As I looked around I thought wow there is a bunch of cool stuff.  I did not have my camera but I had my phone so I still got to snap some pictures of the world in which I live.  I really like the Taco Art, which was mural that was on the side of a taco shop that I walked by.  People might think that I am distracted because I am always looking around the world but this is the view I see and that I want to see.  I am excited to share these pictures because in an ordinary action like going for a walk, I can share how I look at the world.  I guess I could have just looked at the traffic in the streets, the litter that people have thrown out their windows, or the old stains all over the road but I prefer my view instead.  

Classes!

Today I signed up for two classes and I am very excited for the classes to start this week.  The school is right across the street from my work so it is super convenient.  I took a workshop there on my movie making software and now it is time for a Customer Service workshop and a Spanish II class.  They run for a while and the price is extremely reasonable.  My company is even paying for the CS workshop but tomorrow I am going to ask if they will pay for the Spanish class too.  I hope so but regardless I am taking it and am already signed up.  You get out of any class what you put into it plus it is a positive way to spend my time and perhaps I will meet some new people.

Happy Easter

I hope everyone had a nice Easter.  I like Easter a lot.  I was going to go to the diner for ham dinner but I nixed that idea.  Tomorrow is weigh in and so I am going to the gym instead.  I also am going to take pictures of the flowers in the yard of my friend that lives nearby.  Seems that Sundays are becoming yard day for me - but not in the traditional sense of that phrase!  At 10 this morning I went to church.  Regardless of what I do or don't believe, church is comforting and I also think that it is good to see something as more important than yourself once in a while in this universe.  Enjoy!

Good Friday

I know it is Good Friday.  I am not being disrespectful.  

I just wanted to make sure that everyone really had a good Friday.

Dispatches From the Yard

I told you that I spent a lot of time in the yard and here are just some of the pictures!
If you so desire you can click on them and see them bigger.  Oh joy.

How freakish, scary looking is this?  It is just 

some type of succulent and totally makes sense to be growing in the yard but it kinda creeped me out - so of course I had to walk up close to it.  Once I got to it a gecko ran out of it and naturally I jumped a mile plus screamed a little bit.  I did a little wee too :(  I see geckos regularly and am normally fine but this one was a little more feisty than most having an unannounced gentleman caller at his door.

There is a hole in the trees!  Never, never noticed this before.  My friend Juan Loco actually lives in the neighborhood that you can see through the hole. Made for a cool view.  Jeez the deck is big but not that big.  I need to get around it more often

A poinsettia!  I have a poinsettia growing in my yard!  How many people do you know that actually have a poinsettia growing in their yard?  It is Christmas all year - yay.  Of course it made me curious so I googled poinsettias and it turns out they are native to Mexico (but of course), they are not poisonous, and they can grow to be 10 feet tall.  If this thing gets to be 10 feet tall I am gonna crap my pants for real.  I nearly crapped as it was.  So now of course I check it daily to see if it has grown.  OMG I am a 13 year old boy again.  LOL

Follow the Leader

Tonight I got installed as the new leader of my weigh loss group.  I got to wear my sash and the theme was all the signs in life that we see along the way as we go to our destination..  Sometimes we miss those signs and need others to help us find our way.  It turns out I am the curve in the road -  fitting as we all know that  I am a little bent.  It actually is very sweet and some silly but I am excited over the positive energy I can bring and to both help myself and guide others.  Oh plus the ladies LOVE me.  It is fun and I need to stay focused on my weight and my journey plus how good do I look good in a green sash.

The Yard

My world is shrinking daily.  Today since it was nice out I spent a large amount of time in the yard.  I was taking pictures and found things that I never seen before and I have been here 5 years.  For example above is my house number and I never noticed this before - ever.  I found a bunch of stuff I never noticed before!  Plus I enjoyed my view - I really do like my view.  The neighbors were totally looking out the window and wondering what the hell I was up to now but it is good to keep people guessing.  There will be a lot of pictures coming soon from today's  yard adventure!  Just a bit of a warning for you.

What Day Is It?

I am not knocking anything or being blasphemous but is today Palm Sunday and April Fools Day - I find that very intriguing.  I can imagine a lot of people had a field day with that I just kinda took note of it and thought - hmmmm.  In any case whichever you celebrated, I hope that you enjoyed!

Spring

Seems every Sunday I am taking video of my deck but today was actually a very nice Spring Day.  No rain - no hail - just a nice sunny Spring day and a pleasant 65 degrees.  So instead of just taking video from my door I actually went out side and enjoyed.  I took this short video of of a bee pollinating the heather in the year.  Perhaps not Academy Award worthy but I like that you can hear the bee, the color of the heather is nice, it felt good to be in the sun, and the heather also smelled really good.  I am glad Spring is here!