Today

Freddy called me today and asked if I want to go out with him and his friends for a bit. Although I thought it nice, I declined. A bunch of people wanted me to go out actually but I was just a bit out of sorts and so politely declined them all. Plus in addition, I did not want to spend the money. I decided instead to go to Zumba, then the gym for 2 hours. Somehow the gym is all the makes sense to me currently. I feel like it is the only area I have control over so I focus a lot on it. I had a couple mediocre weeks at my weight loss group so I have worked incredibly hard this week as I want to see that needle jump on Monday.

One of the people that wanted to get together was Oscar but I told him of my gym plans and then hopes to do some cleaning. Later he messaged me and asked if I could call him. When I did we chatted for a bit and then he started to cry. I thought he might be drunk and asked him what was up. He was not drunk at all and said they closed the plant unexpectedly for 3 weeks, which means no pay, and that he did not have food or money or food. He said that he felt bad for having to ask and then he asked me for food. Oscar never asks me for anything. Anything I have ever given to him I have done so on my own and he appreciates everything. Plus he did not ask me for money - he asked me for food, he had not eaten since Friday morning. I cannot even express what it felt like to have a good person ask for food.

You have no idea how much money sucks for me right now - truly you do not. But I scrapped the cash together and went grocery shopping. Lots of dried goods, canned foods and sauces in jars. I will try to run it over to him tomorrow after the coffee club so it will minimize gas usage. After food shopping, I was completely in a funk and a bit lost so I went back to the gym. I went into the pool and relaxed for a while and then spent sometime in the hot tub relaxing more. I am happy I am able to do a little something and helps when counting my blessings but I would give anything for this to just all stop - my problems that is, not Oscar.