Both Sides Now

Rick is on a gay softball team and recently he held a fundraiser (aka hellraiser) to raise money for the team to fly to Akron to the championships. IKNOW I thought the same thing - the gay softball championships are held in Akron???? Anyhoo. You could bid on a date with the players. Of course I bid on mister but then a short time later I was told I was out bid! WTF??? And although my mind was cloudy by the very clear libation known as vodka (I was not driving). It dawned on me - why the hell would I bid on him when I can see him for free anytime - so I bid on his boyfriend - who I met for the first time that night. His name is Jim and he is from Billerica but since my world is the diameter of a dime - I used to work with his mother - I think I blogged all that before. Well I won.

Jim and I had a fantastic dinner in the gaslamp but as I was headed there I told myself that I would steer clear of any topics on Rick or Rick and Jim. They have had their bumps and although I put mister on a pedestal I know that he is not a perfect little angel. I quickly forgave Jim for being from Billerica as he is really interesting, engaging and a handsome guy. Plus the night we went out was the ex's 35th birthday - so the distraction was a welcome and happy one. At no loss for words we chatted for almost 3 hours - so good to hear a Boston accent.

Then he brought the topic of Rick up. He was so sincere -- as clearly as I can see mister loves Jim - well I could tell firsthand it was reciprocated by Jim. I did not divuldge anything but Jim provided me his side - previous I only ever new mister's. Jim raised some topics he was concerned with and I tried not to but then I weighed in on them. I just could not take his concern - although I wholehearted agree it is not my place to discuss as they should be pointed to Rick. I did relay the story of the night Matt met Rick for the first time and the concern Matt expressed to me over his drinking. Matt could see the signs - he recognized the potential problem and he told me.

I felt torn like I was betraying mister - I begged Jim not to discuss any of this with him. I told him I do my best to advise him, guide him, and talk with him but at the end of the day Rick is a full grown man. I can only express my concern but as a friend be there if it spins out of control. I love mister so much but I do not have blinders - we have had sincere conversations and I clearly express to him all I think - good or bad as he is a true friend.

Jim said Rick speaks very highly of me and he could not imagine it fully until talking with me. He told me Rick is lucky guy to have a friend like me. He said he appreciated my candor and could easily see how true I am. I let him know I am not perfect - there are people out there that are convinced I am toxic and the devil incarnate but that I am just a mere simple man that does his best. It is not about me so I have no power to help or hurt but I know Jim appreciated the insight. I still keep thinking about it. I think about it a lot.