Venting

So I had no plans for Halloween and was ok with that. I go out a lot and can have crazy fun anytime so do need the extra crowds and stuff. I love Halloween but it seems like a lot of pressure. It is kinda like only saying I love you on St Valentine's Day which would make no sense. But I am feeling pressure like I should have some crazy plans tonight.

I am exhausted from the week and tried to talk to Jose on the phone tonight. I got frustrated and was like "fuck Spanish -I am too tired for this shit". I only got frustrated because I really wanted to talk but sometimes hate the effort. So lazy of me because you need effort to obtain the things you want. Now I am all annoyed and twisted and grumpy with myself. So many very positive things about Jose but this language thing just killed me tonight. I am only venting and it would have been better if I was not so tired. He tries English too but it is as difficult as Spanish for me. Usually we just talk and talk but tonight we couldn't.

I am gonna go practice with my Rosetta Stone program now and continue learning Spanish. I am a nutcase. Tomorrow is a another day.