Bad Things

I am normal and want to do good things. I am not bad. I do not kick dogs, steal things or gossip about people. I do however make bad decisions. I want to make good decisions that will lead me onto a path that is good but I fall short sometimes. Sometimes I forget the bad things that resulted from bad decisions. It is like when I had surgery in my 20's. I remember it was extremely painful but I do not remember the exactness of the pain. I believe it is a mechanism that is built into people so that they can go on. The good things become great in your memory and the bad things, well they can become rosey too. I try to look for the real. I want to be of this world but it seems so other worldly to me. I laugh and smile and it is all truly good but is it real. Just a little confused today, perhaps better said just a little more confused today. Some people seem to have the secret and hold the key but do they? I dunno. Guess if I did I would not be babbling on like this.