Some days are just harder than others. Usually there are so many distractions it is easy to forget or better put, image some things did not exist -- or even better still, imagine they existed in the way I wish they did but know that they did not. I went about my routine today but could not use the distraction trick and dwelt on the negative all day. It kept coming to front of my mind although am not sure if I was missing what I never had or longing to achieve what I never had. I got through it and accomplished my life today. So it will end in tears tonight but tomorrow is a new day, the sun will rise and so will I.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
It Will End in Tears
Some days are just harder than others. Usually there are so many distractions it is easy to forget or better put, image some things did not exist -- or even better still, imagine they existed in the way I wish they did but know that they did not. I went about my routine today but could not use the distraction trick and dwelt on the negative all day. It kept coming to front of my mind although am not sure if I was missing what I never had or longing to achieve what I never had. I got through it and accomplished my life today. So it will end in tears tonight but tomorrow is a new day, the sun will rise and so will I.
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3 comments:
Thats all you can do - I know the distraction trick all to well - and I found that what triggers it for me is certain lyrics of certain songs. Even though I may hit the button and go to the next song, my brain ends up making me push the buttons back again to the same song eventually. Sometimes we need to feel what we feel until we can't feel it anymore, and it leaves us. It takes time - and when we are in it, its not easy. You want nothing more than for it to go away - to feel happy again, to feel no sorry, no regret, no "what ifs". I realized that we have to take what we've learned as a lesson for the next step to make sure we don't make the same mistakes or we make wiser decisions. Some people chose to not awknowledge the lesson and continue to do the same things and not feel what you're feeling - use it as a way of reminding yourself of the good things..... We have to feel sorry to feel joy - we have to feel joy to understand sorrow. Its what makes us compassionate, emotional humans. Its not the way we want to be at the moment - but at least you have the ability to feel and that my friend puts you a step ahead of many - and what makes me love you. It will get easier, just remind yourself every day what you are worth - you will believe it, and over time, it will hurt less. As the saying goes "this too, in time will pass" The trick is not getting stuck in it, but allowing yourself to feel it, and trying to regain focus on the positive - and I think you're doing ok with that - I'm proud of you.
Thank you for the kind words - you are a peach and remind me of what good there is in the world!
okay, who do I have to beat up?? lemme at 'em!
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