Michelle's Memories

The dinner party, you made Cindy cook. The other Michelle, SplitEnz and Tom.

Editors Note: I remember this party -- was Kim Cullivan there? How about Kym Calvo? Although I think Kym Calvo was at the second one where I made Matt cook? Anyway I clearly remember the other Michelle - what a crazy! Her mother was Caroline and we all worked at Bldg 19 - the brother too but can't remember his name. Doesn't matter since they all had fake names because of some insane divorce case story - who knows. BUT I do remember Michelle's boyfriend's name - Patrick. He was soooooo cute!!!!! They all went to ULowell. He drove a Firebird and me and my friend Gail (remember her) called him Potato Pants - I am sure everyone can figure out where that nickname came from. Tom adored Michelle but I was in love with Patrick. Oh so twisted - all of it --- what a memory. The Bldg 19 days - god, that was like 5 lifetimes ago. I do not recall the SplitEnz reference though - hmmm.

Heroes Bites

Ok so as promised here is the rest of this insane story!

I told the crazy midwestern chick that I would give her a full refund for what she paid for the Heroes dvd - because of my freely admitted error - but that I would not refund the $5 she paid in postage. I also said that she could keep the dvds and do with them as she will. Although I am quite certain her mother is also her aunt - you follow that? - she took my very fair deal.

Happy to be free of the torture that is know as Heroes I gleefully moved on with my life. One week later this corn fed freak sends me an email and states she can not get rid of the dvds and would like a refund for the $5 shipping that I did not give her back. I returned to her the message where she agreed to my proposition and advised her to ship me back the dvds and once received I would refund the shipping charges that it took to get the dvds out to crazyland and back. I have not heard from the nut case since.

I actually hope the damn dvds show up as I already have a plan to douse them in lighter fluid and revel in the pure delight of seeing them melt into the hell from which they came.

I am sorry to sound so cranky as I can understand it was my fault. I should be much more forgiving as the meth problem obviously has a stronger grip on the midwest than I ever imagined.

I fucking hate Heroes.

First Step

I stayed with him because I was afraid.

I want my old life back because I am afraid.

I want to live my life without so much fear.

Change does not happen - it is created.

I will create the change I need to live my life,

away from the shadow of fear.

J’espère

Don't know where all the time has gone this weekend but I will be updating my blog shortly because I love it. In the meantime please enjoy this intensely beautiful song. C’est mon caractère, j’espère. So true.

I Heart Paula Even More

Paula you just crack me up. Thank for the terrific smiley face car air fresheners it so makes all this Heroes bullshit worth it - because of course you know this story had not ended yet! I have more to post on this damn topic but am going to make you wait. But please do know that for as much as I adore you and my smiley face car air fresheners is as much as I DESPISE Heroes!!!!

Just Cuz He is Hot

Relax It is Only a Rumour

In case anyone believes the false rumour that I no longer listen to music sung in English well listen up, click here, and get your groove on baby!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KE2orthS3TQ

Michelle's Memories

Our first visit to Coney Island. What a day! Everytime I go back I think of that day. We decided to go the day before. We just grabbed an atlas and left.

Editors Note: Life before Google Maps - can you imagine! Of course I remember this day too and will do so forever - just one of the laundry list of honky tonk beaches we thoroughly enjoyed. Girl I gotta get you to Oceanside! (Stop laughing Kym). You know for a long period I, for better or worse, gave up spontaneity and spur of the moment adventures. I am glad to have that back - I am glad to have me back. I am also glad to know that I am not just a memory of myself.

Estrellas

SoCal is littered with Stars -
Rock Stars, Movie Stars, Porn Stars
But I still don’t take for granted the stars
That perform on the limitless stage each night.
Ever amazed I always take note of them.

I want to be a star.
Dance all night long without effort,
Burn with the brilliance of a thousand lifetimes,
Shine for no reason other than I am.
Be so true that someone can navigate their way by me.

Judy --- Bring Your Passport!!!!

We are There!

Cursed

That dammed dvd set was cursed!!!

For a refresher please see my post titled Not So Heroic. Well the cheap bastard cut off the upc label and so when I looked it up to make it easier to get rid of on eBay I choose the wrong one. I choose the HD DVD upc instead of the standard DVD. Boy did I get a nasty gram from some biache in the midwest with her blue freakin gingham dress in a major league knot!!!

I told her the very innocent mistake that I had made but that I did not want the dvds back. So I gave her a full refund and now here I sit without my truly useless dvd set and without my truly needed smiley face air freshener for my car.

I swear if Adrian Pasdar was not on that show then I would start a blog on how truly heinous Heroes is - bad, bad, bad!

Michelle's Memories

Your Parent's 25th Anniversay. Everyone thought I was your girlfriend.

Editors Note: I have definitely had worse things thought of me!

A Room with a View

Cristobal

Harder Better Faster Stronger

There many reasons that make this so enjoyable but all I can say is click here and enjoy for yourself!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6EUupnF02vo

It Will End in Tears - A Better Version

Last night my friend Rick and I went to Pala Casino to see Alejandra Guzman. Rick is such a good guy! He is very intelligent, a bit of a wise ass, completely handsome, genuinely kind and just a complete joy. He is also just a kid but I am happy to have such a great friend. I learned ages ago that age really has no meaning in a real friendship.

Alejandra Guzman was out of control greatness! I guess the best way to describe her would be to take Pat Benetar, mix in a bunch of Joan Jett, generous portions of Cher, unbelievable but true a dash of Carol Channing and huge amount of Mexican spice - voila there you go.

Rick has loved her since he was a small boy and this is the first time he has seen her live so he was beside himself. In addition to dancing all over the place he did stop for a bit and tears came to his eyes. Not out of control weeping - just a little misty eyed. All those times that he wrapped up in her extremely passionate songs - it just got to him for a minute. It was incredibly sweet and made me even happier to be there.

It also reminded me of the time when I cried at a show and the time when Tom Lagg cried at a show. I want to share both those moments but am tired now and have a long day a head of me so I will return to blog another day about those moments.

For the curious here is a link to one of her videos:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z6olNVuhY9c

OK Paula

Here is another photo of me taken on this past St Patrick's Day. I think that is enough photos of me for a while. Everyone knows what I look like (I hope anyway).

Hmmmm

So I am wondering - is this sign offensive of not? I can't figure out if I am being overly pc or if it is true that if this picture was a stereotype of another race or ethnicity then it would be considered racist and offensive. What you you think? Although I guess I could not have been too offended as I still ate here. Hmmmm

It Will End in Tears

Some days are just harder than others. Usually there are so many distractions it is easy to forget or better put, image some things did not exist -- or even better still, imagine they existed in the way I wish they did but know that they did not. I went about my routine today but could not use the distraction trick and dwelt on the negative all day. It kept coming to front of my mind although am not sure if I was missing what I never had or longing to achieve what I never had. I got through it and accomplished my life today. So it will end in tears tonight but tomorrow is a new day, the sun will rise and so will I.

Michelle's Memories

The Ogunquit fortune teller. What was it you asked her?

Editors Note: I hate this memory but I do vividly remember it so I have posted it.

Location Location Location

Michelle's Memories

How happy I was to see you at my grandmother's funeral. Thank you for being there.

Editors Note: I love you and the people that love you - you are welcome but it was no trouble. Side note, and I am note being disrespectful but man how many weddings and funerals have we been to together -- or even worse how many times did we make a funeral more fun than some of the weddings we have been to - oooops special place in hell for that I think.

Pigtails Rock!!!

Listen and watch this video and then try to tell me two things:
One that you didn't jam to it and Two that you are not gonna be sporting pigtails today.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jCPxq9gjzWs

Uno Nuevo Amigo

This is Luis - how handsome is he???
Hence the key to why my Spanish lessons are coming along so well!!!

Dos Palabras

With Passion. The Moenia show tonight in SD was outstanding. Yes there were many reasons why -- it was at HOB on one of the best sound stages in SD, the keyboardist had on a vintage Frankie Says t-shirt, the vocalist is insanely hot with a hella sexy voice, the stage was covered in flat screens blasting trippy imagery, they are 80's retro with out being 80's retread, and of course I was with Rickypedia (that is always a good thing), - the list just goes on and on. But I think the most impressive aspect and which actually welled up in me during the show was the overwhelming feeling of passion. Latino culture does not like anything - they love it. Fact is for many years and many reasons (some good - some not so good) I lived my life as ok - that is not me. I am not ok. I am great. Latinos live with passion and that is how I want to live my life. I love the world, I love people, and I love life. I want people to feel my passion as clearly as they can see my smile. Latinos bravely show their passion - they do not live in fear of others that may not share their passion - it is no matter. Life is hard and life is treacherous at times but life is not ok - life is amazing. Mas fuerte.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XCtS7ofJIPM

PS Super Bonus Points -- Although I only catch every fourth word sung -- I understood on my own everything that was said to the audience! (It was in Spanish of course.)

Michelle's Memories

Shackman's. They are relocating and I keep remembering your face the first time you saw it.

Editor's Note: I love, Love, LOVE Shackman's - heaven on earth to me. I am sure that many of you have received correspondence from me on an item or two I purchased as Shackman's. It was so part the of my NYC ritual. The store was more beautiful than I could ever possibly describe with justice. Have no idea if there is a physical store now but know of course it lives in the cyberworld. Enjoy!
http://www.shackman.com/

I Heart Paula

Paula you are the best and probably the closest match when it comes to my many obsessions, so when I saw this I had to post it and tell you that I enjoy you immensely!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HYokLWfqbaU

Clase de Espanol

My Spanish class is so excellent. Monika is from Germany, Ruma is from Isreal and Mitso is from Korea. Steve is a dentist and Paul is a doctor. The class is comprised of such a great variety of people and they actually think I speak Spanish the best. Guess all those drunken nights in TJ were truly learning experiences - HA! Actually in TJ I love the music more than the whiskey en las rocas (they just help the learning process). I know I speak Spanish like a four year old and that is only compounded by the fact that I can not physically roll my R's in Spanish - but that is ok as I can not pronounce my R's in English (Holla Boston). I want to learn this beautiful language so the palabras just come flying out of my mouth. That is how is it going to happen - although I am not sure the cashiers at the Escondido dollar store are particularly happy to help me along with my learning but I do thank them - along with every waiter, drive thru person and gas station attendant that I have recruited along the way. Muy amable!

Flowers

I just love this song. Imagine playing this song on your headset as you walk along the beach in Socal! Man my smile is so huge - it just makes sense to me. Of course it makes a lot of people take double takes - could be seen as a possible negative like, what??? But I prefer to think it is because I am radiating happiness - which I am. Special bonus: this song is actually in English. Enjoy - although focus on the song not the vid as the vid is a tad crap :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0cyxVMSxCs

I'm Certain of the Way I Live

This song has saved me so many times. Uplifting in perfection on top of one hella groove. Well as if that is not good enough I stumbled across this video version. I want my life to express the freedom, purity, and creativity expressed here in both sound and vision. I am on the right path.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=idCQQKr8Bso

Not So Heroic

Last year I turned 40 - Kinda a big deal but not earth shattering, right? Well he sends me a month after my birthday a belated birthday card along with a copy of the Heroes Box set. This is when we were "friends" - how kind and considerate to send me something I have no interest in a month after a milestone birthday. Hell a call or text even on my birthday would have been more thoughtful and meaningful but hey I AM exceptionally demanding. Good luck with that!

I must admit that after the hours and hours and hours of tramatizing tv watching I found it an annoying choice but I was intrigured. I watched the first episode and thought that if the cheerleader consistently wore her cheerleading outfit in every episode (ala superman, spiderman, etc) that I would actually enjoy this crap. Alas, the outfit came off and so did my interest -- not really sure if that says larger something about me :)

I posted it on eBay today and wanted to write one of those crazy diatribes about a thoughtless and shitty gift but really had no need or desire to extend the energy - I just want my buck so I can actually get something useful for my life like a smiley face air freshener for my car.

It is 1988 in Mexico

I just discovered this fantastic Mexican band called Moenia. They are amazing and trapped even further in the 80's than I could ever pray to be. Best of all I found them just in time as they are playing in SD next week! Check out this song and enjoy. How cool is the lead singer's voice!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2p792hbjfkA

Michelle's Memories

"Banana Cream Pie"

Editors Note: I absolutely remember this moment and already know that just before my last breath I will be thinking of this very moment and will pass with a HUGE smile on my face. Neelam and I helped Michelle move to NYC. We went out for dinner - don't remember where, think Hard Rock - but does not matter. Poor Neelam - no one ever got her British accent and always looked at me to translate. She would even have trouble getting a glass of water.
Well she ordered a slice of banana cream pie for desert - the waiter said what did she say and then with out skipping a beat and in a very poor, overly exagerated British accent I told him, "She said she would like BAAAH NAAAH NAAAH CREME PIE". I think Michelle spit her drink out laughing.