Jordan

My niece Jordan was in a horrible car accident on 09/24/2018.  She did her best and tried so very hard but she did not make it.  She left on 09/25/2018.  I think about her a lot.  I love all the kids so much.  It is really dard to wrap my head around her now being gone forever.  She was on my mind even more this week and last night I had dreams of her.  It s\dawned on me today that it was exactly 1 year ago today that his picture was taken.  She turned 16 in 2017 and did not want a sweet sixteen party so instead her and her mother and father came to visit me in California.  It was so awesome.  Such a great visit with so many laughs and great memories.  This is us in Carlsbad.  Such lovely, lovely girl.  Many, many great times with her but it means such much more that she was able to come visit me and it was awesome.  I love her so much.

Something Different

When Matt comes to visit folks always say "Whatcha gonna do?"  And I always reply, "I dunno."  Matt used to live here and has visited a million times.  It is very rare he has anything major on his agenda.  Once he requested Disneyland because it has been 50 years since he had been there but other than that he works super hard so is just looking for a vacation.  Plus I do live in the San Diego area so it is not that hard to find stuff to do.  We just get up in the morning and decide upon our day.  The funny part is that even with all the time he has spent here, somehow we always end up with a new experience.  This year it was watching the sunset at Sunset Cliffs.  WOW so tremendous and neither of had ever done this before.  We had a great day in Ocean Beach and then went for a slight drive south to Sunset Cliffs.  We got a parking spot and a bench and hunkered in.  Gabbing and people watching.  Those people in the first photo were jumping off the cliff and Matt said that he would do it if I would.  I did not think I could even get down to the jumping spot never mind have the nerve to jump.  I was just happy with seeing the sunset at this insanely scenic and perfect spot.  Being that it was something neither have us have ever done so I found that thrilling enough for my tastes.  It was so awesome.  The sun goes so slow at first and it felt so nice to have if finally cool off .  All of the sudden the sun just starts to drop like it is the ball in Times Square on New Year's Eve and poof it is gone.  It was beyond amazing!  Adventures with Matt are so phenomenal!

Happy Birthday

It was my birthday and the best I can remember since my 30th (which as an awesome party).  I had been in a funk and a rut all of 2018 but Matt was here all week and he got me turbo charged and headed back in the right direction.  His company is so awesome and to have him near this of all weeks was incredible.  I know what to do but doing it was just a major hurdle.  I don't know why but I will see if I can get to the root of that, I need to.  But I am re-charged and ready to go now.  This is card from Kym.  She is terrific and Matt and her and I got to have dinner this week together.  How awesome to have two special people at my side..  both Lechmere folk too..  oh Lechmere.  I have to reconnect and keep this major boost moving that Matt gave to me, such a wonderful birthday present.  Getting back to this blog is part of the plan!  We will be speaking more.

I Hear Ya

Oh my goodness!  My ear was blocked for 6 weeks!  It was so crazy.  I don't remember getting water in it but after my shower on 01/12/2018 my ear was blocked and stayed that way for 6 weeks!  I went to urgent care, then to my doctor and then to a specialist.  The just kinda all scratched theirs heads because I did not have the flu, a cold and didn't travel by airplane.  I go next week for an MRI and soon for a hearing test but luckily my hearing came back.  Sometimes it goes out but nothing awful like when it was blocked.  I am going to have them do all the test they want to but I am so glad it came back.  Although my other ear was fine, it was so unsettling.  They told me it could take 3 months to come back and I might need surgery!  I was so frustrated that I could not hear but so depressed too that it may not come back.  Really goes to show you to appreciate what you have.  I am fortunate it came back and want it to stay!  We will see what the MRI and hearing test say but I am feeling positive again.  The strangest things happen to me.

Not Sure If I Will

There has been a lot if stories lately regarding the Breakfast Club.  Perhaps it is because that famous detention took place on 03/24/84 and 03/24 is coming up soon.  It really did, that date was mentioned in the beginning of of the movie, and it was a Saturday - I checked.  In the stories I have been reading there was mention of a documentary about the movie so I tracked it down and watched it.  The documentary was good, I liked it a lot.  It had great insights and points made by the stars.  But what it started churning in my mind is when I saw it in the theaters.  It is a very distinct and clear memory that I have.  I saw it on opening night and it is actually the only time I ever saw it.  That does not mean I did not like it as I have mentioned before I rarely watch movies more than once.  I remember going with my friends Frank and Tom and we saw it in Woburn and I was really taken back by it all.   There is tons of dialogue and I remember thinking some of it was too much for me.  The Judd Nelson character freaked me out and was way too loud and scared me a bit.  I had bad experiences with guys like that..  bruises and marks and stuff.  None of those guys I met like that had that a truly sage and soft human hiding inside that I was aware of, they were just super mean.  I did like the movie a lot though and remember going to Denny's after with Tom and Frank and we just talked about it the whole time and you know how much I love talking.  It was wild how much it spoke to us.  16 Candles is more me and I have watch that a couple times because it is way softer and sillier.  The night with Tom and Frank was a great night.  They were so supremely different from each other.  It really imprinted in my memory and I have conceded many times my memory is fairly shaky.  Now I am trying to think if I want to see it again.  I feel it will have aged well.  I definitely like the idea of tripping back to the mid 80's of course but maybe that perfect memory of an amazing movie and an amazing night needs to be left as is, perfect in perpetuity.  If I do end up watching it again, I will let you know how it goes.

Frankincense

Today a super jumbo surprise delayed Christmas presents arrived!  It was from my sister and her family and had all sorts of great stuff.  It was a really big box and it was packed with tucked inside this candle!  I was dying over it because it is Frankincense..  that is what baby Jesus got and I know that is why my sister got it!  I am not making fun of religion, it is good for people to believe in something bigger than themselves but I am a bit infatuated with Jesus, but in an odd sense.  I know my sister was being cheeky when she tossed this in there which is awesome and I appreciate.  But moreover I love it because I know my sister knew I would get a thrill out of getting the same present as baby Jesus, and I did.  So the box of presents made me happy and the same gift as baby Jesus got is fantastic but most of all I love that my sister knew I would love it.  That is really cool.  I live all the way out here but she still knows me that well.  

Maybe....

The year just started so I won't fill it up with negativity but I am bugged.  In the past month or so three friends did actions to me which I did not like so I told them that.  I tried to do it in a polite manner.  I don't have much to bad say about how my friends treat me, quite opposite as it is usually over the top wonderful.  But each time it was met with negativity.  I did tell folks to please don't do that, I do not like it.  I even had to tell one, "Look I am not joking.  I am being serious and this is upsetting to me".  Now I did not ask anyone to convert religions or have a sex change and so I thought my requests would be met with an "Oh ok thank you for letting me know" or even a "Oh I did not realize" but no.  And I am not stockpiling.  In my long term relationship I would stockpile.  I would let a bunch of things go unsaid thinking that when I did say something it would be heard clearly and understood as important.  The world does not work like that.  I realize that now and so do not stockpile.  But I do have the right to say when something is upsetting to me.  I know also though that I do not get the right to always getting the response that I want but it would have at least felt a little better if I even got and "Oh I understand".  Uff maybe I am just becoming a grumpy old man.  

Happy New Year!!!

How crazy that it is 2018.  I can barely believe it but it is here!  2017 was good.  I have a few crap years but 2017 was good.  I am excited for 2018.  I think it will be really good.  I hope you all had a great start to your 2018 and that it is an awesome year for us all.

Thanksgiving

Cocteau Twins - Frosty The Snowman.

The holidays are here and at my part time job which is at a very all American middle of the road, don't rock the boat kind of retailer, they have started playing holiday songs.  On the loop of holiday songs is this song, Frosty the Snowman by the Cocteau Twins and it just blows my mind.  When I was in high school, oh the Cocteau Twins.  They were the cool kids go to.  Described as artsy and ethereal, they were loved by the critics and Liz Fraser, the lead singer, sang in her own made up language and yet you felt everything she sang, regardless if it was as she meant it or if you assigned it your own feeling - that was the beauty of their music. It was so bizarre they even did a Christmas song, never mind this one but it added to their artiness, kinda like Andy Warhol and Campbell's soup cans.  Way back in high school I was in this click of closeted gay kids, as it was 1985 and a catholic high school, so needless to say at times there was even more teenage angst than normal for high school.  Frank was the the most artistic, intelligent and daring of the bunch.  He even had a girl friend and she was 80's rock start cool and super model beautiful.  I got them together but I digress.  Tom was the opposite of Frank.  Super crazy fun, everyday guy that was the original gives zero fucks meme.  Well the Cocteau Twins was Frank's bank.  He "discovered" them.  He "adored" them.  They "spoke" to him.  For as every day guy Tom was, he liked them too.  I really enjoyed them too.  I remember being in Frank's living room as he played their record for the first time for me...  wow!  Anyway they were coming in concert and for some very unremarkable and unremembered reason, Frank was in a snit with Tom.  Tom told me that he wanted to go to the Cocteau Twins and asked me to go with him and I said yes.  Frank got wind of this and told me that if I go to see the Cocteau Twins with Tom that he will never speak with me or Tom ever again.  I swear.  What a crazy diva fit, right?  Even back in high school where histrionics are normal, I knew this was super ridiculous.  I told Tom and his response was fuck him.  Well we went and Frank wrote us both off, exactly like he said he would.  It made me sad because I was enamored with Frank.  I never had a crush but just admired his smarts and aesthetic plus he was so fun.  We had great times,.  Oh well the concert was so great and was a blast.  Just the first of many great times I had with Tom so although unsettling at the time, it all worked out in the wash.  Tom was awesome.  So anyways this big long story because flip all these years by and now I working at my part time job, focusing on trying open credit, and I hear this song and my mind floods and I need to remain focused yet there are just whirls of memories and thoughts.

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The Best

My parents sent me a card for my birthday.  My Mom always makes them out but I know she showed my Dad before sending it.  I got it in the mail Monday and she marked it for me to not open it until 08/17 but I ignored that and ripped it open.  Of course all that silly Happy Birthday confetti flew all over the place, which I knew would happen and that made me smile.  The card itself is really funny and gave me a chuckle but it is what she wrote at the signature that made my day.  I know I am a mommy's boy and my mother is bat shit crazy but I just love her.  I love too that she started to sign the wrong page, that is so imperfectly perfect. 

Maine

Look at everyone up at Old Orchard Beach.  Like I said in an earlier post it initially made me sad that I am not there.  One because I really want to be there having fun with my family and two that financially it made me feel a bit messed up that I could not work it out.  But now that has past.  I have received plenty of photos and videos and it is making me completely happy that they are having so much fun.  Even my dad has a smile which is rare totally lets me know 100% they are having an awesome time.  Seems strange to see all those hoodies, hats and sweaters in a picture from August.  It must be chilly there but that does not seem to be stopping the fun.  What a great picture.  I was so very, very happy when I got this.

Good Morning

My "new" car is working out well, thank goodness.  Although it does have, as mentioned before, a working cd player and cassette player - the windows do not have tinting.  No I am not gansta as suggested by a friend, it is just a necessity out here to have tinted windows.  My sisters said they would pay for it for my birthday so I went down on Sunday morning to get it done.  Oddly enough my friend and two of her friends just had theirs done so they recommended the place that I went to.  It was just a couple towns away in a town called Vista.  Although Vista is close by, I do not go there often.  I just wanted the back half of my car done as that is what I had in my other car and it helped greatly.  Plus it is illegal to have the front half done although it seems like everyone does.  It was going to take about 2 hours and so I went for a walk.  

During my walk I found all sorts of great stuff.  The first and most impressive was a Victorian house!  Those are a big deal to me out here as there are not nearly as many here as there are back east so coming across one is always a treat.  It was in muted colors but still pretty.  I think it may be being used as an office but I could not tell for what kind of company.  It was in fantastic condition too which made me happy to see it still alive, functional and being cared for.  

I then came across a really funky place that looked a lot less out of place than the Victorian.  It kinda looked like an old school house and was Mission style.  I could tell it was still being used but again I could not tell as what.  My favorite part was the bell and weather vane at the top.  I stared at that for ages.  I am not sure how they ring the bell or if they even still do but it looked to be in great condition so I was hoping they do still ring it.  If it rang while I was staring at it then I probably would have crapped my pants in delight.

After eating a super yummy spinach omelette (which I did not take a picture of) on a shady outdoor patio at a restaurant, I thought found some art!  Oh I love coming across art -- so makes my day.  This was an electrical box that was painted to look much more appealing than the standard solid industrial green they are normally colored.  Perhaps not are worthy of the Louvre but I still loved it.  I wonder if when the artist goes past it while driving on that busy road, if they think, "Ohhhh there is my art!".  I certainly hope they do.

My windows came out awesome and it will make a huge difference.  The guys at the shop were super nice and I thought the pricing was very reasonable, especially since they come with a three year warranty.  Tinting is a terrific present too as I will use it every single day :)  All in all a terrific Sunday morning over there in Vista.  I certainly must come again.

An Emotional Day

I was doing errands today and stopped at the second hand shop to poke around for a bit.  They had a pile of cassettes and they were only 25 cents each!  I know it is 2017 but I just got a new car which is a 2002 - hey no cracks as at least it is of this millennium.  Anyway my "new" car has both a working cd player and cassette player, which brings me back to my excitement over the 25 cent cassettes.  I sorted through them and among them I came across Anne Murray's greatest hits How could I pass that up?  I adore her.  As I drove around and listened to it it made my mind wonder, especially this song.  It made me feel emotional and that is always hard.  I texted some friends that I was listening to Barry Manilow (another 25 cent cassette find) and Anne Murray and was feeling emotional today.  One friend recommended I get some cardio in, which is definitely not bad advice but I said I needed to clean and the response was that my mental health was important and cleaning could wait.  I agree with that statement in general yet I only said I was having an emotional day, I did not say that it was a negative thing.  Sure some of the emotions today were hard.  My sisters and the kids left for a week up in Old Orchard Beach Maine and I so wanted to be there.  I could not financially make that happen and that crushed me.  My birthday is this week, the kids are so fun and I have so many great memories of staying at the beach with my family, to be with them this week would have been beyond the best.  Also it is really upsetting to me not to be there because I want to be so much which is coupled with that it makes me feel like a failure that I cannot be.  I had to work tonight at my second job and as I walked in my favorite niece sent me pictures of them at the beach.  I literally was walking to the doors when the pictures came through.  I looked at my phone and the pictures immediately made tears well up in my eyes and I stopped dead in my tracks.  I allowed myself that minute but then thought to let go of that silliness and be happy that they were going to be having a great week.  Plus she just got there and her first thought was to send me pictures.  That is powerful demonstration of how important I am to her and that she wants to share happiness and make me happy not sad.  I shut my phone off and swallowed hard then walked on in to start my job.

That is an example of how emotions can be difficult but also Anne Murray made me think of one of my best memories ever., which is when I saw Anne Murray live with Michelle.  I don't remember the year but it was at least 25 years ago at minimum.  It was down on the cape and Michelle bought  me tickets for my birthday, which the date of the show was close to.  What a splendid night.  Anne was so good live and it was an intimate, outdoor venue so that was all wonderful and pleased me to no end.  But what really makes the memory outstanding is how fun it was.  Left to her own devices Michelle would never have been there but she was there and mainly because she knew how happy it would make me.  I got to see an amazing show that is forever ingrained in my kinda shoddy memory but also spend time with someone who was so happy for no other reason than to see that I was on top of the world happy that day.   That is a truly special and amazing feeling. That's the other end of the spectrum of emotions, the joy and the happiness.

I am a super emotional person which can make me super strong or incredibly weak and with a 50,000 foot view of that I  can recognize that emotions exist in pairs like two sides of a  coin.  It comes with the territory and is par for the course and any other applicable cliche to state the price of being human.  As I get ready to go to sleep for the night I look back on today and think, "today was a good day" and so after my emotional day I will sleep just fine.  This is a milestone week for me so we will see how it goes but I am feeling positive for it to unfold, bumps and all.

Sometimes Annoying

So my life runs in circles, I have written about it before.  Usually it thrills me to no end - the connection, how it all ties together - seeing the different parts of my life intersect - it is so awesome.  For example Kym is awesome and I met her like 27 years ago at Lechmere and she knows Michael (who actually asked her out as kids) and now I live 3,000 miles away from my parents home and yet just 10 miles away from her.  That is an example of a most excellent circle in my life and I love it.  More often than not the circles are wonderful but sometimes the are just so annoying.  At my part time job there was this puke of a kid named Jacob.  I am sorry I am not perfect and there are some people I just do not like, much like I know I am not the cup of tea for many people.  He was like 20 and the best way I can describe him is as a little prick.  He played all sorts of games and I knew it but management just loved him because he got a million people to apply for a credit card and nothing else matters in retail.  Honestly you could literally tell a customer to fuck off but if you are getting millions of them to apply for a credit card then you are golden and would not have any repercussions.  So the store manager just fawned over this idiot and I knew he was up to shit and finally he got fired for playing games with the rewards program.  The store manager actually cried because since that is a security issue she had no control and had to fire him.  Because I am an ass when I saw the store manager next I said, "Jeez where is Jacob, I have not seen him in ages." knowing full well the story.  I am not above it all, sometimes I sink into the muck and have to get my digs in.  Anyway so he gets the boot and I do not miss him at all and am enjoying the store manager being bummed out her golden child getting bounced and I never have to see him again - wrong!  I got to redbox and get a movie.  It is outside a Walgreens, I never go into Walgreens, but I think to myself that I am thirsty so I go in and fuck me Jacob is working there and the only cashier.  I thought "whatever" and got my drink thinking he would just pretend not to know me but no.  He was super friendly and nice, as if he was not a total asshole to me for a year".  I was polite back, as I said I never go to Walgreens so was thinking I would not have to ever see him again - still wrong!!!!  After I finish at my part time job, I head on over to the grocery store.  I am in line putting items from my wagon onto the cash register belt and fuck me but there he is behind me.  I smile and say, "oh we met again" and he says, 'hey how is it going?".  Please God, stop the insanity as I cannot take this! BUT NO.  I go to the gas station and go into pay and FUCK ME he is in line.  He looks at me and says "hey" and I am like ok stop stalking me and he laughs although I am being serious.  This is all in the course of a week.  There are 140,000 people in my city, why?????  What are the odds???  I guess this is some bizarre test to teach me humility, not to hold grudges, be kind to my fellow man regardless, etc.  Who the fuck knows but it is annoying the crap out of me.  I will admit that each time I see him it gets less annoying and I do not dislike him nearly as much as when we worked together.  I think another lesson is to count my blessings as most the time the circles are awesome and I love them and am lucky they happen.  Fingers crossed for zero more sightings but I am not feeling that to be the case.  Eh its fine.  I will just keep being polite and let the lesson soak in. Uff.

Stuck in Oz

My Australian journey continues!  I was looking at movie titles online and saw listed Priscilla Queen of the Desert.  Other than seeing that movie in the theater when it came out in 1994, I do not think I have seen it again.  I don't usually watch movies over again but I tonight I pushed play.  I could only remember snippets plus Guy Pearce's tight body - well fit as they say in England.  I very glad I watched it again.  Their accents are difficult at times in the movie and I always watch movies with the subtitles so this go round I did not miss anything.  Very funny movie.  Man it came out 24 years ago!  How nuts.  That is totally another lifetime ago.  I feel like I saw that movie with friends but I can't remember who.  I do know in general at that time Vivian and Princess were around and boy were they taken with this movie.  Matt was around too.  He is so funny, kinda like the ringmaster of all the insanity.  He is so good, always has been.  I am still really obsessed with Josh from that Australian TV show please like me.  I hope it does something soon, another TV show or movie or something.  I miss my friends :)  

More Australians

I saw this documentary on Netflix and it has my head spinning.  A girl Alice lives in Hollywood and works on a cam site which means men pay to log on via the internet and see her on camera.  They can speak with her and she performs sexual acts for them.  This is actually a big big business on the internet.  She is not particularly attractive.  A little pudgy, huge fake books, blemished skin and really over processed blonde hair.  She also did not come off as smart or with much depth but eh she makes a living at this and earns more than enough to take care of herself.  One of clients lives in Australia.  I would guess but he and Alice are mid-twenties.  He has a job, lives alone and takes care of himself.  He said he was horribly bullied as a child and has never had a real life girlfriend.  He did not say he was a virgin but I assumed that by what he did say.  With him in Australia, and she in Hollywood, they have had an online cam relationship for four years!  It moved off of the cam site and became more regular though skype and he sent her directly all sorts of money and gifts.  She had been married for the past two years and said she loves her husband greatly.  The husband knows about her job and her special Australian client.  She is full of all sorts of BS that she truly believes because we all make our own reality.  "Oh I love my husband dearly and he will always come first but I would say I am poly-amorous".  The guy in Australia knows about the husband too, at times they even skype with each other???  I so tried to keep an open mind and not judge as not only do people make their own reality, and they also make their own happiness.  But it was just all bonkers and a facade.  Anyway the Australian guy buys a plane ticket for Alice to visit him in Australian.  She agrees and even is all giddy packing underwear, bikinis and dildos that the Australian guy bought her.  She gets there and meets the Australian guy and the illusion is utterly smashed once she goes on the other side of the looking glass.  Much to her credit she immediately sees finally that the Australian guy believes her to be his girlfriend and that they have a true relationship more profound than just transnational.  Although they have had done all sorts of "intimate" acts together on cam, they do not have any physical intimacy while together (although you could tell he wanted to).  Alice is only there a long weekend but the guy does not come as quickly to the same realization she had until she apologizes to him for holding him back and telling him that he needs know to go out into the world and have a real relationship - that he has a lot to offer and someone will be very happy with him.  In the end she was very kind to him and super sensitive.  He is chubby but good looking still plus super sincere and sweet.  He agrees that even though he enjoyed the last four years and it gave him what he needed, he does want to have a true relationship and feels the strength now to seek it.  WOW, again this show had my head spinning.  Like I said I really had to restrain myself not to judge them.  I did find her very off putting.  But that sincere and true way it ending made me pleased for holding back my judgement.  Yes it was a very unconventional path they took but where the journey lead pleased me.  Online is so strange.  Sometime people give it credit for being more real than they should and then you have those on the other side do no take it as seriously as they should.  

So Far...

Ok so here is the run down.  Fri, Sat, Mon, and Tue - no smoke.  Sun and Wed - smoke.  I paid $8 on Sunday for cigarettes and only $3 on Wednesday.  They were so cheap because I was in Mexico.  I only bought one pack and did not bring any back with me.  I have no near future plans to visit Mexico soon, I go like twice a month.  It was fun today as we say Guardians of the Galaxy Vol 2 in one of those lazy boy seating VIP cinemas and tickets were only $5 each!  Anyway Thursday back to no smoking and I refuse (plus can't afford) CA cigarette prices so we shall see how this goes.  Also I have noticed an immediate difference.  I already don't cough anymore and I can actually smell the flowers in the yard.  That's pretty amazing for only 4 days of not smoking.  I have also noticed though that at night time I have been eating more.  When the craving strikes it gets fierce.  I press on my patch and pace.  I am not sure if it is weird but when I pace it comforts me greatly for all sorts of things.  Sometimes it is not enough so I grab food and eat it.  Now I do not have as much food in the house and I am not going to restock it for a bit.  I won't update you daily on this but please know I am trying.

Please Like Me

I watched this Australian TV series and I enjoyed it, I think.  It is called Please Like Me and the main character is gay.  There were four seasons.  The first episode opens with his beautiful female girlfriend breaking up with him saying that the reasons are because they have drifted apart and also he is gay.  I thought ok that is a good way to begin and grab my attention.  Honestly though as I was watching the first season I was thinking why am I watching this, the main character is so mean and tries to disguise it as being funny.  Mean humor is not funny.  I did keep watching though because I was intrigued they were in Australia and Australians.  It never really says where they live and I don't know Australian cities enough to guess from the scenery.  I just kept watching to learn more about Australians.  It was difficult though as I have no way of judging if it was a real depiction of Australian life or not.  For example - when Friends was on, it was not remotely realistic in its depiction of Americans living in NYC.  The apartment alone, do you know how much that would have cost?  So for this show I kept looking at their houses, accents, and words they use.  It really intrigued be but again I have no clue how close or far away they are from reality.

I did keep watching it and then he went on a blind date and the guy actually called him on his meanness. During the blind date the other guy said that he was going to go as he did not feel they would be compatible since he wanted someone nice and the main character was mean.  This startled the main character, as well as me that the show would be so bold to call him out.  The main character then thought about it and did not do a 180 but he did become nicer which pleased me.  There is also a whole group of insane background characters that made the show really interesting.  His mother was bipolar and tried to kill herself a couple times.  She was super sad but he was good to her.  He rarely gets angry with her or her actions.  He states that he understands it is an illness and who knows what awful reality in her mind she has created and lives with daily.  I thought he was very compassionate.  Judy made comments like this before and how it was harder to love a person with mental illness because of it.  I have to agree with this. I am not sure how I could do with it if a parent was bipolar.

I watched all four seasons and read that there will not be anymore.  It made me sad that the show ended but also because I feel like I lost some friends.  How weird is that right?  I asked my friend Loren if me feeling like that meant the show was good or that I am sad.  He responded, "Maybe both but the same for all of us",  How nice was that, it made me feel good.  Overall I liked the show.  I wish there would be more.  The characters were super oddballs and just doing their best.  Sometimes their best was awesome and sometimes it was awful.  It made sense and felt real for me.  I am super glad I watched it and had them in my life for a bit.