Yellow Light

I am really social by nature - perhaps no news to most of you but truly I would go bonkers if I was not talking with people.  I did start my new Spanish class to continue my learning and to get out a bit but I wanted to meet new people too.  There is a woman in my class named Carla that is really going out of her way to be my friend but I have been standoffish.  I cannot put my finger on it but it is just a yellow light to me.  First off although the class is super easy for me, I decided to stay as I can work on my pronunciation which really needs work.  I am getting something from that class which I can benefit from and I made that decision - perhaps not the same benefit others are getting but a definitely something that I am excited about.  Carla's Spanish is poor and yet she puts no effort into the class.  She wants to chat about miscellaneous stuff and so I told her once, "Esta bien conmigo pero hablas en Espanol por favor", she stopped talking at that point that night.  She does seem nice, a bit more negative that is my taste so I stay distanced.  Of course because I live in 5 square miles I have bumped into her unexpectedly twice outside of class.  Once at the grocery store and once at the vintage car night they have downtown.  We chatted both times -she is nice enough but I just don't know what it is - something says yellow light.  And then you know me - if I like you it is so apparent and everything else just pales in comparison.  I hate to say this too but I think it is also because I need some more penis in my life.  Don't get  me wrong, I love all the female friends I have - I truly cherish them but my dance card is kinda full of that.  Men have a different point of view and vibe and I am a man and I want to beef up that area of my life, no double entendre intended.  For example there is a nice guy in the class named Don, I would love if he wanted to be my buddy.  It is nothing sexual.  He is straight and married but around my age and I like his perspective and point of view.  It has nothing to do with his penis really, which I know nothing about, but he tries in class and he has a good sense of humor and he just seems much more relaxed and like he is not trying so hard.  Maybe that is it, since she is trying so hard I am wondering why.  Hmmmmm, we will see how this story works out.  But she is nice.  Hmmmmm.

My Muse

I know my posts are funny but funny odd not funny ha ha.  I write a lot about Escondido but I do not have rose colored glasses.  I know that a lot of people look down on Escondido because it is not as fabulous as some other Southern Californian communities but it is my home.  It makes me curious.  It has personality.  It has character.  Those attributes are not always positive but I take it as it is.  I see the good.  I am aware of the bad.       I appreciate what it has to offer instead of missing what it doesn't have.  I love that I barely have to even look and I see wonderful things everywhere.  Perhaps some may say that says more of me than Escondido, but I think it tells a story of us both.  

Marty Feldman Eyes

I was thinking that I have not posted a picture of myself in ages.  Then recently Paula asked me for a picture so that she can use it as my caller ID on her phone, so again I was thinking I need to take some pictures.  In addition tonight I finally gave in and buzzed my own head.  I usually go and have it done - formerly by Andy (I miss him so) and as of late by this crazy old asian lady - who usually does a fine job but last time made me a little uneven.  I am not sure if botched my own hair or not so I thought I definitely need to take a picture then I can see, as well as get a picture for Paula and my blog.  Below are the results of my photo shoot and I must say that I am not too sure I will be on the cover of GQ too soon.  As well as, just when did this dormant Marty Feldman gene I obviously have decide to surface???

Hmmmm I dunno though, now that I look at my post - I might be as hot as Theo James below.  We kinda look the same, I can see the resemblance.  Can't you?  LOL

New Crush

I started watching the British tv serries Bedlam because it has a supernatural edge and it has my permanent crush  Will Young in it.  Turns out that not only is it a great show but it also has my new crush Theo James in it.  I recognized him right away from the last Underworld film and was very excited to see him again.  Anyway he is my latest crush so I figured I would post a super big picture of him for you all to enjoy too!

Dejà Vu - Again and Again

Friday I went to work without my phone again and had another stress free and well focused day.  I swear I got more done on Thursday and Friday than I had the previous entire week before.   Perhaps I will move on soon to leaving the phone is my car but for now, leaving it at home is working well, very well.  Then on later Friday night my friend Michael called me.  I appreciated his call even more than normal and made sure to tell him.  I was so happy to speak with him!

I also found another lottery ticket - how weird is that?  I picked it up off the side walk as I was walking on Friday and took it home and checked the numbers.  Again I had two winning numbers but that doesn't payout anything, although I was still so excited about it all.

Lastly - there is a SoCal punk rock band called Bad Religion.  In my buying and selling of tee shirts I found a concert shirt of theirs so got it and posted it to eBay.  Turns out someone messaged me, he was in Escondido on vacation (odd enough in and of itself) and wanted me to end the auction early and he would pay $20 for the shirt - yay, a great deal so I did it.  Turns out he collects shirts from this band and has well over 100.  Today I came across another shirt of theirs (see pic above) so got it and contacted him.  He is very interested again - yay.

Deja vu can be a very good thing!

Cell Phone Free and Stress Free

I was so stressed out and miserable on Wednesday.  I truly was at my wit's end.  The only bright spot of the day was the thought that when I got home I could have a shot of vodka and two Vicodins and when I got home, that is exactly what I did!  Sometimes I just cannot make sense of this world and just don't feel like I am or ever was cut from the cloth to be in it.  Well as I thought about it, a major point of my stress is my cell phone.  Honestly it barely every rings and that bothers me.  And truthfully, although I love texting, 95% of texts I get are simply responses to texts that I sent.  I know those statements are full of self pity and I know that people are busy but it still bugs me.  In addition there is one person that is causing me stress right now and his messages are very upsetting and distracting to me.  

All that being said, I decided to go today without my cell phone.  I purposely left it in my house as I went off to work.  I thought I would go crazy without it, although I am old enough to remember life without cell phones and the world revolved just fine.  It turns out that I had a great day!  I actually felt relaxed and focused and stress free.  I feel bad as he is a good guy but again I did not just leave it home to ignore him I just did not want the distraction in general of my cell phone and the benefits were immediate.  It will definitely be in my house again tomorrow.

Although light hearted, at work I am very serious.  I had a confidential discussion with my boss and apologized for not being focused for the past week or so.  I know I do a good job even at sub par focus but it is just not my style.  I told him I enjoy and appreciate my job and acknowledge my lower efforts as of late and have take steps starting today to decrease the amount of my distractions.  He appreciated my honest discussion with him and I know he appreciated the immediate difference in my performance.  Sometimes I want the world to stop and this one step is one of the few things that I can do to at least slow it down a bit - since as you know from my previous posts that damned button I thought would freeze eveyone in the world was broken.  

I had a a lot of self pity for myself yesterday.  I know everyone is busy but somedays it is just impossible to count my blessings.  Today as I walked at lunch, without my phone, I felt a sense of calmness and was able to count my blessings.  I know people are busy but waiting on my phone was maddening.  Also whatever happens I will take care of on my time.  If there is an emergency back east, really what can I do?  I can't drive over and help.  Also it made me think less of him and allowed me to deal with him on my terms and not his.  I live my life in 5 blocks so what is going to happen to me?  And actually believe it or not, Escondido still has payphones - how vintage and quaint LOL.  We will see what happens for the weekend. I think that when I leave to do errands or go to class, I will leave it behind.  I do not think my cell phone is evil but I feel so relaxed after a stress free day.  I am not sure why I did not think of this before.

Happy Mother's Day

I saw this flowers the other day and thought they looked nice.  They are wild flowers and were just along side of the road and not part of any specifically landscaped area, so I thought that was even cooler.  I sent them along via text, with a personal message, to all the mom's out there that I know, of course including my own.  I spoke with her for a long time yesterday but told her I would not call today as she has a lot of plans lined up.  I was happy that she was busy today but she kills me as she is still the busiest person that I know.  In any case I had a wonderful day and I am not a mom so I hope all the real moms out there had a wonderful and happy Mother's Day.

Almost Had A Winner!

As I walked into the gym today I found a lottery ticket for yesterday's drawing on the ground in the parking lot.  I know that most people would not even stop and think about it as anything more then mere trash but I stopped.  I looked down on it and thought, "Wow it was just from yesterday.  I wonder if it is a winner?".  Then I contemplated for a little bit and of course I thought that it could not be a winner, that is why someone tossed it away.  But then I remembered that I had no idea if it was a winner or not - the same as when you buy a ticket and the chances of it being a winner because it is on the ground in the parking lot cannot be any lower than if you bought one - so I picked it up and put it into my gym bag.

While inside the gym as I tried to burn some calories away, I thought of the ticket.  I thought how good it would be it was a winner.  Any amount would help plus it would be a great story.  But then I thought, "Oh what it is a big winner and the media gets a hold of the 'winning ticket found in gym parking lot" story and then the owner would come forward.  What would I do then?  What a moral dilemma that would be.  But how would they prove it was there's?  Oh perhaps there is a camera on the parking lot that could show who lost the ticket and then show me finding it.  Anyway it all got very, very elaborate right up until the very moment that I got home and checked the numbers on the computer.  Turns out that although two numbers did indeed match last night's winning number, you still don't get anything for matching two numbers so it was off to the shredder.  What a funny story.  I am still glad I picked up the ticked and checked it out.  I also think this funny little story tells a lot about me.

Press the Button - Quick!

As I walked around I saw something ordinary that made me think something extraordinary.  I saw the above button and pushed it with great excitement thinking that everyone in the whole world would just freeze in place. What a thought - the whole world stopped so that I could just take a breath!  That is such a fantasy, I would love that.  It is something I day dream about a lot.  Perhaps a lot of that fantasy comes from the fear that yet and other day will soon but here and everything just continues to go on and on.  I dunno.  But what I know is that it did not work.  After I pushed the button, everyone in the world just continued on as normal.  I waited and I looked and I hoped but nada so I took a picture and moved on.  

She is Still a Treasure

Sharlowe the fabulous gave the presentation this week at my weight loss group.  Each person gives a small presentation on a given week and she always does a great job.  She made these "bumper stickers" for each of us and we had to read them aloud and then discuss.  Mine was about binges because she knows I struggle with them so badly.  She is so sweet and lovely, but you all know that because I said it like a million times.  I am going to put my bumper sticker on my fridge and see if will help me.  Sometimes the binge just overwhelms me but with a strong visual of such sweet support, I think it can help me.

This is what it says on the back that I needed to read aloud:  "Isn't it ironic that all the comfort food we eat is exactly what ended up making us feel so uncomfortable?  With our TOPS and KOPS friends, we can learn to forego extra helpings, desserts and the extra calories that keep us from being all we can be."

My World Kills Me

I went 11 days on one tank of gas.  I was extremely excited on one hand as that is saving good money but on the other hand I thought, oh my I live my life now in 5 square miles.  My job is very centrally located so at lunch or after work I can leave my car and walk and do all my errands.  I can walk to the post office, a frequent destination, or my bank, or the grocery store, or the salvation army, or zumba, or school or even the DMV (which is what they call the Registry out here).  What kills me as I walk around the same streets and blocks each time yet I still notice things that I have never seen before.  I think, "How much more can I discover?" and yet each time somehow I seem to still find more.  Here are shots from my walk this evening as I went to the atm and then to buy milk.

How phallic is this enoumous plant???  It was killing me.  Although a little too skinny to be an enjoyable phallus, I still found it oddly and crudely funny.  Jane said it a yucca plant.  I was more than a little impressed with her botany skills to say the least!

I found it disconcerningly comforting that Mr. Muff is fluent in Spanish.  Your thoughts?  Discuss amongst yourselves.

I cannot believe this is for real but it was my favorite sight tonight as it just raises so many questions such as:  How do you lose track of a 30 pound cat???  How does a 30 pound cat sneak away undetected???  Why is there no picture on the poster of this lost 30 pound cat???  You just know that after I read this I was searching high and low for a stray 30 pound cat wandering the streets of Escondido.  I am sad to report that I did not see one, or I would have definitely taken its picture too!  I personally think it went off to the buffet at the casino.

Wunnerful, Wunnerful

I need to pick up a part time job to catch up on things.  I just need something that is more consistent than eBay, although I love eBay and continue to do it.  I have been looking around and around and cannot seem to find a good part time opening.  I did see a front desk position for the local "no-tell" motel and the hours were perfect but then  last weekend there was gun fight there involving some fugitives and the police so I nixed the idea - I am serious, totally not kidding at all.

Suddenly it dawned on me that the Lawrence Welk Resort, which is just 5 minutes from my house, might be a good place to look - no gun fights there (unless as Judy says it is a bubble gun fight).  I went online and they did have a couple perfect part time spots!  They want nights, weekends and holidays - I am their man!  I am reliable, friendly and ubber customer service friendly plus, as I have said before, the old ladies LOVE me.  I applied immediately online and my fingers are so crossed.  I am gonna swing by this weekend too and see if I can speak with someone.  

I love my job and company but with the reduction in pay that I took, I am just having trouble catching up from the ground I lost in 2011.  If I can just get a little extra but dependable income it will so help me.  C'mon Lawrence!  Here is hoping that all those Saturday's with my grandmother, watching Mr. Welk and his amazing polkas will pay off!  

Whopper Wednesday

During April vacation I sent all the kids some fun stuff in the mail.  Of course they love getting mail and I love sending it and so it all worked out perfectly.  Unexpectedly my sister sent me a Burger King gift card and also a Subway gift card.  The Burger King card was a bit of a joke because as I have stated here before the only thing I do not like about my job is that it is right next door to a Burger King - it is literarly all I can smell and it kills me.

Well today I took my gift card on over because it is Whopper Wednesday and they have a super deal on whopper combo meals.  Oh what a splurge!  Honestly it is the first time I have gone to BK since I started working there and man did I enjoy.  It sounds so silly and goofy but as happy as the kids got with the little trinkets that I sent them was as happy as I go with this gift card.  It is nice to be thought of.  I did not even feel guilty either as I planned out my calories for the day and do not have to weigh in until next Monday.  

To top it off they changed the fries and they are soooooo good!  

Wow, Whopper Wednesday was Wonderful!