Bad Times and No Freaking Dimes!

I have not posted for a while because things have been VERY rough lately. All my job leads went to dead ends and have dried up. I am constantly worried about money. I do not sleep very well because I am nervous all the time. Staying up late is a nightmare because then I binge at night to try and comfort myself which thwarts my efforts to lose weight and makes me feel horrible. I feel like I am teetering on the edge each and everyday. I try and force myself into a normal routine, count my blessings and focus on the good but with every passing day it becomes more difficult. Last Monday at my TOPS meeting I gained weight. I was devastated. It really bothered me. Since I have had a life long struggle with weight, I know it is part of the process. Some weeks are good - some are bad. I joined the group for their support and that is what they gave me. They reminded me of how much I have accomplished and that pushing forward I will eventually get to where I want to be. I have been thinking about that all week and not just regarding weight loss. At the end of the meeting you can put a dime and your name into the jar. The next week they pull a name and if you lost weight you get the dimes and if not then the pot builds. Of course my name was pulled at the last meeting so I did not win the dimes! I wanted those dimes so bad too. Freaking dimes! Although I did win a prize in the fundraiser mystery raffle. I won the set of bunnies above. Since it was just a raffle and and not based on accomplishment I was not as pleased at the time. But those damn bunnies have been sitting in my house all week and have made me happy. Time will eventually tell the whole story but have to remember that I do have bright spots along the way.