Donut Obsessed

In my weight loss group they do not outright ban any specific food because they know it just can't be - it would not work. However each week they do ban one food for the week and if you do have some of that food you have to cough up a dime for each serving that you had. Usually I am fine - it is a ban on soda, pies or carmel corn but last week the ban was on donuts. Oh donuts! There is a place here that has the best donuts ever! Even better than Kane's in Saugus. It truly is evil - it is open 24 hours a day and 365 days a year! It absolutely owned and run by Satan. Plus there is ALWAYS a line! Well I tease my niece all the time because I am dying for Chinese food from back east since it stinks out here. She has been twice to Petersen's so she keeps saying if I send a donut she will send Chinese food. Last week, during the donut ban, I went and bought her a donut. It was a special donut for Easter with purple sprinkles and purple is her favorite color. Of course there is always a line so I had to stand there for 15 minutes smelling the damned donuts as I waited to get hers. Once I bought it, I immediately sealed it and then when home, packed it up and mailed it to her. How funny is that! She got it very quickly and it survived the trip across the USA completely intact. She is now completely aware that I am standing by my mailbox daily waiting for my Chinese food!

Last night I got to hang with Rick. He is such a good guy and I just enjoyed being able to relax and enjoy with a good friend. He came up and we went for sushi so it was a double treat. After dinner I was completely full but the little madman was still hungry??? I said I know what to get and I brought him for donuts. As everyone, he LOVES the donut place here. I cannot tell you enough, it is insane how good it is. An actually I truly was full so I did not get one. There is no ban this week and yet as I stood in that stupid line again, I was ok. I did not buy one nor did I feel the desire to buy one. He got a chocolate dipped old fashioned plus a cream cheese roll. As he ate it in the car he sounded like my 2 year old nephew - making those happy noises as he scarfed them both down. I would normally think he is a freak but I know firsthand the ecstasy of those donuts.

TOPS Meeting #6

Good news from last night's weight loss meeting - I lost weight - yay. I worked really hard last week but I went out to eat on Sunday and felt that I blew it. I did not particularly eat badly when I went out to eat - just too much. Portion control is the key to it all but it is so hard when out at a restaurant. But I lost the weight I gained last week and have lost a total of 15 lbs thus far. I did not make loser of the week - but was still very proud. I actually am already excited for the next meeting as I know I can keep this going. Plus I also won the Easter contest! How it worked was that you had 5 eggs and in each egg you put a quarter. Each week for 5 weeks - if you gained weight or did not go to a meeting then you had to put one of your eggs in the Easter basket. After 5 weeks the person with the most eggs still in their possession wins the whole basket. I only gained one week so with 4 eggs in my possession, I won the basket and it had 30 eggs, each with a quarter in it - woohoo! That is a total of $7.50 - how awesome is that!

More Banksy

Michelle sent me a card of support and well wishes with a Banksy image on it. It is a hooligan throwing a bouquet of flowers instead of a bomb - how subversive - love it - cheeky bastard. Plus the encouragement and good thoughts were gladly welcomed. Although we are not always exactly on the same page - Michelle gets my intrigues and little obsessions and even indulges them at times. I do not feel I am that odd or different but it does seem difficult to find a person with similar interests as me. Seems to me that is why she is still a friend well after 25 years.

Perfect

I love Garfield and so just could not resist posting this! Love it.

Happy Easter

Happy Easter to everyone. It is a time of renewal and man oh man do I need to be renewed! I cannot even tell you how many cards I made with this image. I was slightly disappointed as I used black letters on the cards and so it made them hard to read. I am not sure why white did not dawn on me but lesson learned. Ah that is me - a continual work in progress. Enjoy the day!

It Kills Me

I go to Zumba on Wednesdays and Saturdays. It is fun but it is definitely a workout and I make sure I get my money's worth. The Saturday class however is at 8:30am - how demonic is that! I guess it works well as I then won't go out on the Friday night beforehand and spend money and drink calories in order that I can be sure to get up in time. One recent Saturday though the American Legion was busy and there was no class. Instead the class instructor, Lynn, had a Spring Tea at her house. Yes me and a bunch of the zumba ladies for tea. I have so much time lately that I rarely decline any invitation. At the tea she had an egg hunt - you should have seen these retired ladies with 4, 5, 6 eggs and I was like what the heck. I could not find any. So much for bad eyesight in your older years? Finally I found one and it was the special one with no candy inside but a zumba bracelet - oooooohhh. Guess the it was worth the wait PLUS no additional calories - yay.

Friendship Soup

Sharlowe is a friend I have made in my weight loss support group. First off how cool is that name - Sharlowe - LOVE it. She is so very, very sweet. She likes to paint and she painted this classico sauce jar and filled it with the ingredients for friendship soup. It is a recipe that she got from the monthly TOPS flyer so it contains the nutritional content. She pulled me aside and said she wanted to give this to me for Easter because she is glad that I have joined the group. How sweet and touching is that. So much shit lately so even the smallest ray of sunshine, well I will take it!

Bad Times and No Freaking Dimes!

I have not posted for a while because things have been VERY rough lately. All my job leads went to dead ends and have dried up. I am constantly worried about money. I do not sleep very well because I am nervous all the time. Staying up late is a nightmare because then I binge at night to try and comfort myself which thwarts my efforts to lose weight and makes me feel horrible. I feel like I am teetering on the edge each and everyday. I try and force myself into a normal routine, count my blessings and focus on the good but with every passing day it becomes more difficult. Last Monday at my TOPS meeting I gained weight. I was devastated. It really bothered me. Since I have had a life long struggle with weight, I know it is part of the process. Some weeks are good - some are bad. I joined the group for their support and that is what they gave me. They reminded me of how much I have accomplished and that pushing forward I will eventually get to where I want to be. I have been thinking about that all week and not just regarding weight loss. At the end of the meeting you can put a dime and your name into the jar. The next week they pull a name and if you lost weight you get the dimes and if not then the pot builds. Of course my name was pulled at the last meeting so I did not win the dimes! I wanted those dimes so bad too. Freaking dimes! Although I did win a prize in the fundraiser mystery raffle. I won the set of bunnies above. Since it was just a raffle and and not based on accomplishment I was not as pleased at the time. But those damn bunnies have been sitting in my house all week and have made me happy. Time will eventually tell the whole story but have to remember that I do have bright spots along the way.

TOPS Meeting #4

HOORAY! It is Monday and so I went to my weight loss support group and completely shocked myself - I lost 5 lbs!!! I was THE loser of the week and got one dollar and everyone sang to me. My face turned red again and I was not so secretly thrilled. This job search is just taking so much out of me - I struggle to remain positive so focusing on weight loss properly and exercise is really helping me through it. I want to stay in the San Diego area and I am trying hard but only time will tell. In the meantime this group and their support is helping me in so many different ways. I set a new goal for myself - I want to be loser of the week again for the next two weeks and there by making myself loser for the whole MONTH! It is a lofty goal but I have the time to dedicate and the focus keeps me in a good place in general. Shoot for the stars baby!

Friday Video

BEST NEWS EVER! I found out this week that the Go Go's are playing a 30th anniversary gig at the Greek in LA on August 17th! So freaking awesome as not only is that MY birthday but it is also Belinda Carlisle's birthday - a fact that I always loved! I am going to die seeing them on their home turf where it all started. It gives me such motivation and a HUGE carrot to figure this whole job mess out as well as keep getting my ass into the gym! I seriously think that night may end with a huge scene and possibly me in jail -- ohhhhh but it will be sooooooo worth it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Skinny Bitch Part 2

I was out and about looking for a birthday present for my nephew that will be 17 very soon. As I was sorting through some clothes I came across a Volcom shirt, size small, for only 5 bucks. My nephew is super fit and trim and plays a lot of sports but he still wears a large. Then Oscar dawned on me. He loves stuff from the "otro lado" (other side) because it makes his friends jealous. 5 bucks was too good of a deal to pass up but as I held up the shirt and looked at how small it was, I just kept thinking - there is no way this is gonna fit. I still bought it and gave it to him. He put it on right away and it fit perfectly, of course! He was so excited - Volcom shirts are usually 20 bucks here and like 40 there and they are really in with the young skate crowd. Really he was wetting himself and the whole time I am just starring thinking - that shirt fit him?!? It looked like a freaking baby's bib to me and it fit him. We then went off to Carl's Jr where he proceeded to consume a double western burger and extra large fries as I drank a water - OMG I was so glad for him that I was not carrying my blade with me that night. I am pleased he is happy but I will admit that I am cursing his name right now as I am off to the gym. Skinny bitch!

Time for Reality

I have so many things going on - serious things - I mean truth be told, I can barely sleep at night because of my worring. So with all these serious matters what do I want to speak of??? The Real Housewives of NYC - OMG I love this show. I know there are a bunch of real housewives shows but this is the only one I watch - I swear but it is like going to church, an absolute religious experience! It just started tonight and I am soooo happy. I am in dire need of some "reality" to be able to put reality aside - for a few moments anyway. I am crazy.

TOPS Meeting #3

I go to a weight loss support group each Monday night. It is definitely work but fun as well as keeps the motivation going and helps keep us all on track. As I mentioned before, amongst all the things we do together - the person each week that loses the most weight is the Loser of the Week, wins a dollar and has a special song sung to them. This is the first week that I could participate and I lost 2.6 lbs (making it a total of 9.8 lbs so far). I was very pleased with that number as the second week is always a ball buster and I still thought for sure that I had done well enough to gain the glory. As it turns out - it was a tie - Joyce lost exactly the same amount as I did so we were co-losers of the week. We both got a buck and everyone sang to us both. I was so excited and thrilled although a bit embarassed and my face turned red. I will admit though, as Joyce and I stood arm in arm, each holding our dollars and the entire group sang to us -- my real thoughts were these - "You're going down bitch - Next week that dollar and this song are mine and mine alone!". I guess even evil people need to lose weight - HA!

A Walk with Wyatt

I used to work and carpool with Erin. She always lived in the same city but now she lives right next door. Erin just had her first baby, one little Mister Wyatt. I got to meet Wyatt for the first time today as we all went for a very nice walk. A brisk hour walk in the sunshine. I felt great although I am not sure how many calories Wyatt, the chunky monkey, actually burned off sleeping as he did. He is just two weeks old and almost 11 lbs! But in addition to being a big boy, he is a good boy and Erin is so proud and thrilled. We are going to walk again on Thursday.

What the Hut?

I saw this place on El Cajon Blvd in SD - kinda a rough area. I have no idea what kinda of business this is, what they sell or what services they provide BUT I am seriously curious!!!

Friday Video

Need some inspiration to keep this positive energy and momentum in motion. "Don't care what people say, just follow your own way. Don't give up and lose the chance to return to innocence.". I am trying for sure!