This One Hurt

So I meet bunches of people all the time. This is Gerado. He is from Mexico City and now lives in Houston. He is visiting family in TJ and we meet last week. I am just usually light and fluffy. I am not looking for anything much right now. I am feeling too off kilter to really balance out my needs paired with another person's. Well this one caught me off guard. He is so sweet, real and true. I get asked frequently for a lot of things and steer clear of such requests. Gerado asked me for nothing but my friendship and company. So I used up my first night out of the month and hung with Gerado. It seems like every person I freakin knew was out. I introduced him to Carlos, Sergio, Juan, Memo, Lalo, Jorge, Gustavo, Omar, Jesus, Angel and Saulo. Then on top of that together we meet Daniel and then Ecktor. Needless to say we had lots of fun with lots of laughs, dancing and general merriment. It bugged me. How awful is that. The more people we talked with the more I was annoyed. There is something special about about him and it reminded me of what I don't have instead of appreciating what I do. That is a negative point of view but it grabbed me and sucked me into its messy spiral. At the end of the night I could not say good bye to him. He is leaving this week to return to Houston. After a fun night with all this baggage getting heavier for me, I excused myself to the men's room. What I really did was slip out and leave. When I got to the street I sent a text saying to him, "thanks for everything - i have to go - i will never forget you". Gerado called today. He said goodbye. I could not. So this one got me. I am not clear as to why. Perhaps I am worked up over all the changes that are happening to me and will only increase in my near future. Perhaps it struck a cord of true. Perhaps I let my silly thoughts get the best of me. Perhaps it is why people smile. Whatever the scenario, he will be gone soon and probably for good but he is going to linger for a long while.