02.02.99

Today would have been our 10th anniversary. Instead today is the day before I lay off my staff. On 02.02.99 I could have never made a guess this is how the story would go or where I would be in 10 years. For those of you thinking it has been over 2 years so get the fuck over it - read on. At one time I did but now I have no regrets (thank you Joseph). No woulda coulda shouldas. I was in love - it was real and true. I made bad decisions and take full ownership of them but would have made bad decisions regardless. It is not that I make bad decisions left and right but they are a part of life and they do have their place and purpose. So as I climb into my bed alone tonight. There are no tears and no smiles. I feel a bit blank and nervous about the impending major changes. I do not feel alone though and I know I am loved. That for me is what had made walking around on this huge marble important. That is how I have left my impression.