I Could Not Have Had a Better Time

I love you very much! -Ruby

Enjoy

Because Matt and I certainly did!

He Spoils Me

As we meandered around San Diego laughing and having a fantastic time. Matt let me pose him for this picture no problem at all in Balboa Park. I could barely stand cuz I was laughing so hard. I am such a goof.

Scandal

As Matt and I were having a blast around town I saw this carving in Balboa Park. I could not help but chuckle. Does anyone else think this piece of art is a tad bit scandalous, or am I just a dirty birdy????

Love Letter

I got the below email from Paula on 02.15.09. I have not responded to it nor have I shared it with anyone. I had to save this one for a little bit just for me to be thrilled over. It is a truly amazing love letter and I have played it over and over again in my thoughts. There has been no response by me because very simply, I of so many words clearly do not possess the vocabulary large enough to properly describe the magnitude of how much I enjoy Paula. The best I can manage is, I love you Paula.
PS Yes I remember this.

From Paula:

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!! HOPE YOU HAD A GOOD ONE.

Do you remember the postcard you got me for valentines, years ago at Lechmere?? It was a repro of an old fashioned one, with a cherub and an arrow, with a scale, and you could move the arrow up and down?? Then you could put 'I love you this much' it went from low to high?? well, after you gave it to me that day at work, the arrow was all the way to the top 'love' and then you and I were arguing (not a real argument, just something silly) so you walked over to the postcard and dropped the arrow down to the lowest 'love'??!! we laughed soooooo hard! ha ha ha ha That's when I fell in love with you and your sense of humor!

Luv It

I did not get a chance to get to the beach as I had to do errands in my anticipation of the arrival of Matt. It started with a haircut and catching up with some local news by chatting with Andy my barber. Turns out next weekend the Tour de California is ending her right at the corner of Broadway and Grand in Esco! How exciting since it is the first come back race for Lance Armstrong since unretiring and Floyd Landis too since his drug scandal. Later I went on over to my landlord's store to say hi. We chatted, I found a treasure that I got of course and then she told me that I am such a pleasant man - a compliment on Valentine's Day, yay. She also told me they were giving horse and buggy rides up and down Grand. When I walked out of the store one was trotting on by. How sweet. I was excited and so I waved to the happy couple and shouted, "Happy Valentine's Day". They smiled and waved back. I got in my car and feeling very content with the sun shinning through my sun roof. As I drove back home I was getting funny looks. It may have been because I was cranking "I Beg Your Pardon" and singing at the top of my lungs but am not 100% sure. Then I saw a couple in the center of City Hall getting wedding photos taken. City Hall is very nice - I have posted pictures on my blog before of it. I had to stop - there was simply no choice in the matter. What a lovely couple. Their smiles could not be any larger and I had one to match. I went over and from behind the photographer it flew from my mouth, "Congratulations! I am very happy for you!". They laughed and the photographer snapped the perfect wedding photo. Got back into my car and continued on with my song. "So smile for a while and let's be jolly - life shouldn't be so melancholy!" I love Esco.

Happy Valentine's Day

I think I will go to the beach :) Have fun! Love you all.

Wow that Romantic Comedy Sucked

I had a date tonight! He is around my age and he is from Boston too. We were to meet up in SD at this great cafe and I got stood up. I went in the place right on time. Loitered a bit looking around but no show. The waitress wanted to seat me but I declined and said I was waiting for someone. She said I could be seated and wait there but I said no as I wanted to make sure he showed up first. About 10 minutes into it I see this guy and think it might be him. It was difficult because he was wearing a baseball hat. I went over, said hi, introduced myself and we shook hands. All very nice but it wasn't him. The waitress shrugged her shoulders and put her hands palm up into the air. 30 minutes into it and she was still looking at me. I guess it is a no go I said and she said that it was his loss. How sweet. This place has the best cake in the city so I contemplated having a solo slice of sugar therapy but then declined. Instead I bought a book. It is called "This is For You". It is a remarkable little book and although I will never speak with that ass again, I know why I was at this cafe tonight. Here is an except from the book:

It's not that I feel alone - because I have friends. I have lots of friends. I know I have people who can hold me - and reassure me - and talk to me - and care for me - and think of me - but they can't be inside my head - with me all the time - FOR ALL TIME.

The Carpoolers

This is Erin. She is awesome. I drive her nuts and she still likes me. I enjoy her very much. She was born and raised here in Southern California but man she has the constitution of a Bostonian for sure. We work so well together but definitely know when to agree to disagree. She rocks.

This is Lily. I love Lily. She is lovely and splendid. The joy she makes me feel is amazing. I hope I can ever be even a tenth as gracious as she is. On Friday we had lunch together and I don't even remember what I was prattling on about but she just laughed and laughed. Man did I mess up her make up. When am away from work and think of her, I always feel pleased and privileged. She was born in Virgina and has been in SoCal for a while. So together we crossed 3,000 miles to meet up - and I am happy we did.

This One Hurt

So I meet bunches of people all the time. This is Gerado. He is from Mexico City and now lives in Houston. He is visiting family in TJ and we meet last week. I am just usually light and fluffy. I am not looking for anything much right now. I am feeling too off kilter to really balance out my needs paired with another person's. Well this one caught me off guard. He is so sweet, real and true. I get asked frequently for a lot of things and steer clear of such requests. Gerado asked me for nothing but my friendship and company. So I used up my first night out of the month and hung with Gerado. It seems like every person I freakin knew was out. I introduced him to Carlos, Sergio, Juan, Memo, Lalo, Jorge, Gustavo, Omar, Jesus, Angel and Saulo. Then on top of that together we meet Daniel and then Ecktor. Needless to say we had lots of fun with lots of laughs, dancing and general merriment. It bugged me. How awful is that. The more people we talked with the more I was annoyed. There is something special about about him and it reminded me of what I don't have instead of appreciating what I do. That is a negative point of view but it grabbed me and sucked me into its messy spiral. At the end of the night I could not say good bye to him. He is leaving this week to return to Houston. After a fun night with all this baggage getting heavier for me, I excused myself to the men's room. What I really did was slip out and leave. When I got to the street I sent a text saying to him, "thanks for everything - i have to go - i will never forget you". Gerado called today. He said goodbye. I could not. So this one got me. I am not clear as to why. Perhaps I am worked up over all the changes that are happening to me and will only increase in my near future. Perhaps it struck a cord of true. Perhaps I let my silly thoughts get the best of me. Perhaps it is why people smile. Whatever the scenario, he will be gone soon and probably for good but he is going to linger for a long while.

Have You Seen Danny?

I saw this poster and was so concerned. Poor Danny is lost. And as I read it I decided that I would do my best to keep my eyes on the lookout for Danny. But then something dawned on my... if I did happen to find this Mexican Red Headed Parrot --- how the hell do you get a parrot to come to you. Guess I need to go to the store and get some crackers.

02.02.99

Today would have been our 10th anniversary. Instead today is the day before I lay off my staff. On 02.02.99 I could have never made a guess this is how the story would go or where I would be in 10 years. For those of you thinking it has been over 2 years so get the fuck over it - read on. At one time I did but now I have no regrets (thank you Joseph). No woulda coulda shouldas. I was in love - it was real and true. I made bad decisions and take full ownership of them but would have made bad decisions regardless. It is not that I make bad decisions left and right but they are a part of life and they do have their place and purpose. So as I climb into my bed alone tonight. There are no tears and no smiles. I feel a bit blank and nervous about the impending major changes. I do not feel alone though and I know I am loved. That for me is what had made walking around on this huge marble important. That is how I have left my impression.