Not Sure If I Will

There has been a lot if stories lately regarding the Breakfast Club.  Perhaps it is because that famous detention took place on 03/24/84 and 03/24 is coming up soon.  It really did, that date was mentioned in the beginning of of the movie, and it was a Saturday - I checked.  In the stories I have been reading there was mention of a documentary about the movie so I tracked it down and watched it.  The documentary was good, I liked it a lot.  It had great insights and points made by the stars.  But what it started churning in my mind is when I saw it in the theaters.  It is a very distinct and clear memory that I have.  I saw it on opening night and it is actually the only time I ever saw it.  That does not mean I did not like it as I have mentioned before I rarely watch movies more than once.  I remember going with my friends Frank and Tom and we saw it in Woburn and I was really taken back by it all.   There is tons of dialogue and I remember thinking some of it was too much for me.  The Judd Nelson character freaked me out and was way too loud and scared me a bit.  I had bad experiences with guys like that..  bruises and marks and stuff.  None of those guys I met like that had that a truly sage and soft human hiding inside that I was aware of, they were just super mean.  I did like the movie a lot though and remember going to Denny's after with Tom and Frank and we just talked about it the whole time and you know how much I love talking.  It was wild how much it spoke to us.  16 Candles is more me and I have watch that a couple times because it is way softer and sillier.  The night with Tom and Frank was a great night.  They were so supremely different from each other.  It really imprinted in my memory and I have conceded many times my memory is fairly shaky.  Now I am trying to think if I want to see it again.  I feel it will have aged well.  I definitely like the idea of tripping back to the mid 80's of course but maybe that perfect memory of an amazing movie and an amazing night needs to be left as is, perfect in perpetuity.  If I do end up watching it again, I will let you know how it goes.

Frankincense

Today a super jumbo surprise delayed Christmas presents arrived!  It was from my sister and her family and had all sorts of great stuff.  It was a really big box and it was packed with tucked inside this candle!  I was dying over it because it is Frankincense..  that is what baby Jesus got and I know that is why my sister got it!  I am not making fun of religion, it is good for people to believe in something bigger than themselves but I am a bit infatuated with Jesus, but in an odd sense.  I know my sister was being cheeky when she tossed this in there which is awesome and I appreciate.  But moreover I love it because I know my sister knew I would get a thrill out of getting the same present as baby Jesus, and I did.  So the box of presents made me happy and the same gift as baby Jesus got is fantastic but most of all I love that my sister knew I would love it.  That is really cool.  I live all the way out here but she still knows me that well.  

Maybe....

The year just started so I won't fill it up with negativity but I am bugged.  In the past month or so three friends did actions to me which I did not like so I told them that.  I tried to do it in a polite manner.  I don't have much to bad say about how my friends treat me, quite opposite as it is usually over the top wonderful.  But each time it was met with negativity.  I did tell folks to please don't do that, I do not like it.  I even had to tell one, "Look I am not joking.  I am being serious and this is upsetting to me".  Now I did not ask anyone to convert religions or have a sex change and so I thought my requests would be met with an "Oh ok thank you for letting me know" or even a "Oh I did not realize" but no.  And I am not stockpiling.  In my long term relationship I would stockpile.  I would let a bunch of things go unsaid thinking that when I did say something it would be heard clearly and understood as important.  The world does not work like that.  I realize that now and so do not stockpile.  But I do have the right to say when something is upsetting to me.  I know also though that I do not get the right to always getting the response that I want but it would have at least felt a little better if I even got and "Oh I understand".  Uff maybe I am just becoming a grumpy old man.  

Happy New Year!!!

How crazy that it is 2018.  I can barely believe it but it is here!  2017 was good.  I have a few crap years but 2017 was good.  I am excited for 2018.  I think it will be really good.  I hope you all had a great start to your 2018 and that it is an awesome year for us all.

Thanksgiving

Cocteau Twins - Frosty The Snowman.

The holidays are here and at my part time job which is at a very all American middle of the road, don't rock the boat kind of retailer, they have started playing holiday songs.  On the loop of holiday songs is this song, Frosty the Snowman by the Cocteau Twins and it just blows my mind.  When I was in high school, oh the Cocteau Twins.  They were the cool kids go to.  Described as artsy and ethereal, they were loved by the critics and Liz Fraser, the lead singer, sang in her own made up language and yet you felt everything she sang, regardless if it was as she meant it or if you assigned it your own feeling - that was the beauty of their music. It was so bizarre they even did a Christmas song, never mind this one but it added to their artiness, kinda like Andy Warhol and Campbell's soup cans.  Way back in high school I was in this click of closeted gay kids, as it was 1985 and a catholic high school, so needless to say at times there was even more teenage angst than normal for high school.  Frank was the the most artistic, intelligent and daring of the bunch.  He even had a girl friend and she was 80's rock start cool and super model beautiful.  I got them together but I digress.  Tom was the opposite of Frank.  Super crazy fun, everyday guy that was the original gives zero fucks meme.  Well the Cocteau Twins was Frank's bank.  He "discovered" them.  He "adored" them.  They "spoke" to him.  For as every day guy Tom was, he liked them too.  I really enjoyed them too.  I remember being in Frank's living room as he played their record for the first time for me...  wow!  Anyway they were coming in concert and for some very unremarkable and unremembered reason, Frank was in a snit with Tom.  Tom told me that he wanted to go to the Cocteau Twins and asked me to go with him and I said yes.  Frank got wind of this and told me that if I go to see the Cocteau Twins with Tom that he will never speak with me or Tom ever again.  I swear.  What a crazy diva fit, right?  Even back in high school where histrionics are normal, I knew this was super ridiculous.  I told Tom and his response was fuck him.  Well we went and Frank wrote us both off, exactly like he said he would.  It made me sad because I was enamored with Frank.  I never had a crush but just admired his smarts and aesthetic plus he was so fun.  We had great times,.  Oh well the concert was so great and was a blast.  Just the first of many great times I had with Tom so although unsettling at the time, it all worked out in the wash.  Tom was awesome.  So anyways this big long story because flip all these years by and now I working at my part time job, focusing on trying open credit, and I hear this song and my mind floods and I need to remain focused yet there are just whirls of memories and thoughts.

placeholder

placeholder