Sunshine, Rainbows and Lollipops

Yesterday I was a little challenged to see the bright side. I was lured to the dark side and did a touch of wallowing. And then today I got a glimmer both figuratively and literally. I came across something that may be a very positive avenue and so I jumped on it right away. Who knows if it will pan out, it really could but at least I took action. I put myself out there and I will keep you definitely posted if it fixes that alternate universe problem I have. Then as I left work - tired, not quite feeling 100% I looked up and there was a rainbow. No rain = no rainbows so trust me it was a welcome and exciting site. Everyone saw it and everyone had the same reaction - exuberance. Nothing like a rainbow to pull you back to your senses!

The Grass is not Greener

I know this is true. I appreciate what I have and keep moving in a good direction. But some days the dark light beckons to me and I cannot resist. I know life is all challenges for everyone but sometimes I just don't have the energy to talk myself off the ledge. Jane called - she is very positive without being condescending. It was great to hear her voice. It pulled me back to the good light. Tomorrow is a new day and I am prepared to fight the good fight. Of to bed now to get a full night sleep and prepare for happiness.

There is a Story There

But some stories are better left unsaid. Unsaid though makes it feel like a secret and secrets can be corrosive. Hmmmm the quandary. There is value and a place for it all but I keep thinking it is time to create an ending for this story - and I am not good at that at all. Hmmmmm sorry but that is the most sense I can make right now.

Ahhhh Owl

I only post this because I think it is soooo freaking cute!!! I swear I have not started herion usage but I just love it! Sometimes things make you happy, go with it :)

Alternate Universe

Wow - I must have fallen through a worm hole or something. I just don't know what to do about the changes I have experienced lately. I am afraid to go to much in detail because of prying eyes and I am fine, personally. It just seems like I took the wrong pill and am in wonderland? I have not encountered people like this so concentrated - all so territorial, weak, and continually pointing fingers. I made a conscious decision to stay and make things work for me. Of course no one can control change 100% and those that do have severe OCD. My aim is to manage change and still an unexpected change happened that I am struggling to manage. I am not complaining woe is me - I am just trying to access fully the situation so I do what is best for me. It is what we all should do. Serious though this is gonna be a challenge. I feel up to it - as long as I can contain this intense desire to stand and say,"What the fuck?".

What About Me

I have said this many times but I get so stuck on things. Most the time Michelle rescues me with her iron clad memory, but others have come to the rescue as well. But at times I just get a glimmer or flicker of something and it sticks there as I am try to remember what it is that I am trying to remember. Well this song kept flashing in my head - serious for months now but finally EUREKA. Here it is and I am so happy - mostly because it will be now be purged from my thoughts during the shower and commute. Actually I never saw this video before. I will admit that I obsessed a bit over it this weekend. I never knew what this singer looked like and he so does not match that voice. I totally love his 80's hair which even if he still has the same cut would work today. Of course the borderline gay french navy shirt kills me but I still cannot deny it looks great on him. What is the zenith though is that snaggle tooth -- it is not totally messed up, just perhaps a bit snarled from a pub fight or too. If you did not know, the heat is insane out here lately and I think that I may be losing brain cells. You won't but really, click play and then tell me, "What about me?".

Beautiful

Look at Lisa - I just love her! I got to visit with her recently during my super quick visit to Boston. We sat on the deck enjoying a fantastic fall afternoon but more over enjoying many laughs after years and years of friendship. She just glows and is beautiful, again I just love her!

More Reasons to Love Kobey's

Good Vibes

So I need a touch of good luck and thus purchased a bamboo plant while Senor Matt and I were at the swap meet during his recent visit. Just to make sure it really will bring good luck Matt is pictured here infusing it with even more than it naturally comes with.

I Demand a Recount!

They had a show on VH1 that was a countdown of the to 100 Artists of all time. Yes there was a lot of good entries but Blondie was not on the list - WTF???? Justin Timberlake, Beyonce, and George Michael all made this list but not Blondie - who the hell was counting those ballots???? Blondie took that 50's fab girl and went downtown, way downtown, to have fun and get dirty. Debbie Harry is the prototype - she set the standard. She ruled and rocked the 70's and people still are not over it. There would be no Madonna, Britney, Lady Gaga, and countless others if there never was never Blondie. Not only did she tell the man to fuck off but she fucked the man. I mean all the shit she has done and given and been through and she tops it off by living through it all. That takes balls and she has them!

Of Course I Do

I was with Rick recently and I was telling him a story. He enjoys my stories and listens so well. As I chatted on he stopped me and said let me see the picture. It made me laugh with joy like you cannot believe! First because he knows me that well so it wasn't even like, "Do you have a picture?" Second because of course I did have a picture!!!!!! There is nothing complex about me - and I am happy about that.

It Just Happens

There is a downside to being emotional but there is a great upside. When I meet somebody and in 10 minutes I have summed them up to see their greatness and brilliance -- well I am just in love and there I stay no matter what. Above is Karen to the left and Carol to the right - two women I used to work with and they are so great. Carol is super and I enjoyed both working with her but also was always impressed with her personal kindness - so sweet. Karen -- well she sends me into that outer stratosphere - still at my age I am constantly impressed and happy people like her exist. Maybe it is because of her wonderful Midwestern ways and point of view - maybe it is her inner strength or phenomenal personality - maybe it is just everything combined into one but I love her! It just happens to me - I know when someone is special and I appreciate it and I feel this way about so many people I know - most the people I know, that is why I know them. I can't name names for fear for forgetting someone but I love so many people - genuinely - they make me smile, regardless if they are around to see that smile or not. I just have always known that truly special and good people are not to be discarded or taken for granted and because of that I stand in awe and love endlessly people like Karen. I kick myself so often for my bad decisions - of which I do have plenty - but I should list all the good decisions - all the good people that made sure to enjoy and let them know I enjoy.
PS Even writing this post and just thinking about Karen - I am smiling and giggling and feeling great -- that is an remarkable power some people posses - and I get to enjoy it.

Dumi Dumi Dumi

This is my friend Dumi. He is such a good, good man. Very handsome and sexy yes but also just a truly good guy. No games, no hassles - real and genuine. Recently Dumi had his heart broken. He was so upset. We talked about it. I have no answers and talk way too much in general but I can listen very well at times and usually that is all someone needs or wants. Once in a while it is difficult though - I mean, again, he is such a good, good man - who would want to be mean or cruel to him? It baffles me. I am definitely not happy for his sadness but it does remind me that it does not matter who you are as there are only like 3 stories in this world. The names and locations change but at the end of the day we all experience the same things and have been since beginning of time. The world is crazy. Seriously I am not biased because he is so cute - he has a heart of gold and someone treated it like it was tin. I reminded him that one day someone even better will recognize and appreciate that heart of gold. It made him feel good and not just because it was something nice to say but because I was sincere and he knows, as well as I do, that it is true.

Michelle's Memories

Today is Michelles' birthday - HAPPY BIRTHDAY. Knowing this I thought it would be a good day to reach into that memory jar and see what it has in store. The message said, "That summer we went to all those weddings We were the best guests". I so remember all those weddings! It was like dominoes. Everyone seemed to fall into the same place in life at the same time. I cannot count how many times we heard "Oh What a Night" by the Four Seasons and yet each time we jumped up and danced as exuberant as ever. Yes we were the best guests!

Then I got thinking about Michelle's wedding. Oh she was so beautiful plus I got to see her mother in NYC! What an extra treat! I can count on one hand how many times I saw her mother outside of her own house so to see her in NYC - very cool, even if she was nuts the whole time. Well Michelle was so happy that day and had a blue wedding cake that was incredibly yummy. I was there with my ex and I will admit it, I was proud to be sharing this day with him. We stayed with Matt who is always so awesome. It was just great all around. So although yes we went to a lot of weddings that summer and were awesome guests --- the wedding I enjoyed the most, well that was Michelle's! Seeing a good friend radiant -- that means the world to me. Happy Birthday - I love and miss you VERY much.

Juan Loco

Juan Carlos at work is so great. He is really a nice guy. He wanted to go out with me and his wife so we did. It was a lot of fun. He is so kind and considerate. It makes me happy to know there are people in this world like him and that they appreciate me. Friends are a reflection on who you are as a person. I like the reflection he gives. It is a bummer that I will not see him as much soon as he works in Carlsbad and I am more and more in La Jolla but good friends are worth it all in the end.

Crack Head

I got a new photo card for my camera. Instead of cleaning off the full ones I just buy a new one - I know, I know - leave me and my craziness alone. When I got in the car I took this picture to try my new card and it just makes me laugh. It is the dumbest looking picture, I cannot help but crack up. I am the only crack head on the face of the earth that does not do crack, I swear!