Maze

Here I sit a bit confused. I was so stressed about my old job, about making the decision to stay, about finding a new job and figuring out where my happiness lies. After tomorrow I will have completed 1 month on my new job. A job I enjoy immensely and that could not be off to any better of a start. Good pay, ok commute, great location, nice coworkers. All this craziness allowed me to clear up $8K of debt. I really did all of this. I accomplished it. But now the downside is sliding in. I feel a bit lost in the maze. A bit like an Olympian feels a month after they won the gold - where do I go from here (as if I am brash enough to compare myself to an Olympian). I am not unhappy but I am not sure what I am, other than a bit lost in the maze. I guess because now is the time to take the next step in the never ending marathon toward the ultimate finish line, happiness. I am not sure what it is though. I solved one puzzle and now there is a larger one waiting for me. It was like my old job - as soon as I completed on major task the response was - great job now tell me how you are going to complete this new and more difficult task. All one breath - kinda like, thank you what is next. I feel flat - not depressed, not unhappy, just flat. Then the cycle begins cuz I think man what a miserable prick you are nothing makes you satisfied. You can't remember shit. Even when it is good stuff that is continuing to happen. That is just useless guilt though but I am not sure what it is from, perhaps habit? I do count my blessings - maybe I need to count them harder.