Faces of TJ

Edgar

Abuela

Pancho "Joe"


Yesterday was about 85 degrees out but today went back down to 65 so it made it a great day to get out and about. I decided I would go to TJ because one it truly fascinates me this utterly different world right next door and two I can look around as much as I want and they just chalk me up to being another crazy, gringo tourista. But I like it. I like practicing my bad Spanish by talking with people and hearing their stories. The world fascinates me, people fascinate me, and sometimes there is no greater joy to me than just getting out there and speaking with people and asking questions.


Edgar was very nice. Truth be told I could not talk with him too long as he is a bit overwhelmingly handsome but I was so intrigued with what he was doing. He takes coins and cuts out the images and then makes them into jewelry and such. You can see his little stand in the picture and it is his workshop too. I can't picture having the patience or skill, never mind how much practice he must have put into it. I can only imagine how many times he decapitated poor Abe Lincoln in the beginning.


Abuela means grandmother and she was very funny. Her Spanish was very difficult for me to understand as it was extremely mixed with the Aztec language. At first she seemed frighted of my camera - no she was not frightened of me so stop thinking that, she was fine up until I pulled out the camera. Anyway she supports herself so told me the fee was 5 bucks. Like a very good gringo I bartered with her. She was tough and stubborn too. I was like omg you would think I was working out an endorsement deal with Beyonce. Anyway I got her down to 3 dollars and she posed for me. I then paid he the 5 because how could I not. Although she did flip me the bird when I asked her how old she was - I swear.


Lastly was Pancho to the locals or "Joe" to the gringos. He was extremely friendly, relaxed and chatty. He lived in Fresno for a large number of years and so his English was perfect which sometimes disappoints me when that happens because I need to keep practicing to get better at Spanish. He works at this stand that sold handmade smoothies, juices, and ice cream. The stand is right at the junction of 2 major thoroughfares so man he told me the low down on everything. How he made the ice creams and came up with the flavors, the skinny on all the locals hanging round and why I needed to be weary of the policia. He showed me pictures of his 4 kids and gave me background on why he lives in TJ. Everyone truly has a story. His wife and kids still live in Fresno so every other weekend they make the 6 hour drive to TJ to visit him. We must have chatted for about 2 hours, he was so personable and interesting - plus his stand really does have a good vantage point of a lot of activity. Bonus on top of it all was that the fresh made orange and mango juice rocked the house.

Happy Go Lucky

This movie is brilliant. Mike Leigh is one of my all time favorite directors and he always delivers. He also made one of the best movies ever with Secrets and Lies but now we get a bit lighter here. You walk down the street and there are a million stories all around, everyone carries theirs with them. I get curious and try to guess at them in my mind but Mike Leigh puts them on film. It is amazing how some of the most universal and revealing stories are just what happens in life, real life.

Just Because

We all need something nice to look at once in a while :)

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Uncle Dom

Lisa called me and let me know that her Uncle Dom passed away this week. He had been having a lot of health challenges since December and passed away in his sleep. He was beyond being a character. He was cantankerous, comic and utterly endearing. He never owned a tv and still rented his rotary landline phone from MA Bell. He created an impression with everyone, that cranky man that still left a smile on people's hearts. He lived alone and he died alone but he did not walk this world alone. Hard to forget him. He will be missed but I love that his niece got the best of all those crazy bits of his personality. Sometimes it is good that the apple does not fall far from the tree. Love you very much Lisa Lisa and definitely wishing you my best. :)

Why I Love Him Too

Matt sent me an email which said - "Yellow shirt - that is when Lechmere jumped the shark". As soon as I read it I died because I understood it. The first sign of Lechmere's decline was when Montgomery Ward updated the dress code and made every store worker where a bright yellow shirt. I was in the offices at that time so got to escape the pain but clearly remembered it as soon as I read his message. So funny that it all comes back to Lechmere. Thanks Matt for the reminder and the memory. You are terrific.

Happy St Patrick's Day

Wishing you all much good luck in this year - and especially some for myself too!

One Year Down

Wow! I have been writing on this blog for one full year now. I took some time to go back and read my very first post. I must say it was very humorous and made me chuckle. I did not chuckle because I was embarrassed but because it was truly funny and still words to live by. Oh man what a difference a year makes. And as I embark on a new year with some uncertainty in my life, I am still very excited to see what it has in store for me and what I can make of it.

Yellow Shirt

I have been torn for a while now with the most difficult decision of my life. Should I return to MA to take a great business opportunity or remain here in CA and see what else lies out here for me. I have tried to make other opportunities on the work front but nothing has panned out yet. When I was in MA recently Jane said to put it out to the universe and ask for a sign and the universe will steer you. Feeling I have tried every other avenue, even the pyschic down in Seaport Village with Matt, I decided to give it a try. I told the universe that if I was meant to stay in CA because I will find my happiness here then show me a yellow shirt. Why a yellow shirt? I have no idea. I thought about it for about a day and then yellow shirt is the sign popped into my head. I told no one about my sign but I did tell Jane I picked one.

On Tuesday March 10th I sent Jane a text that said I still had not seen my sign. She replied back, "Where ever you go you will be loved". That is why Jane is so special, that is why I love the dear woman so. But no sign.

I have had ongoing discussions with my boss and had to turn in my final decision on Friday the 13th. I was exhausted and just could not speak of it any more. I have gotten to a good place in my life but mostly due to not taking risks and not facing up to my fears. Now I have walked right up to the most risky decision ever and could barely keep the fear at bay. Lily has be a love through this all. I truly do attract the most amazing people and am a better man for it. I told her the universe and sign story on the night of the 12th but did not tell her what the sign was, just that I had not seen it. She told me that I very well could have missed it and that would not negate that it happened. I so love her too. Plus how well does she know me since I could very easily buy that scenario. So I went to bed feeling good that I had missed my sign.

On Friday the 13th I at 11:40am, I walked down the hallway to my office as I had to call my boss at 11:45am and deliver my final decision. I had made my decision but saying it was terrifying to me and I was still not sure I was going to be able to do it. I mean it would be so easy to say Yes I will take this great job opportunity in MA and move back and be closer to family and long standing friends and apply what I have learned about myself in CA but it is not what I wanted. As I walked down the cube lined hallway filled with great anxiety I saw Steven, who I see about 100 times a week because of where his cube is on this hallway. He said hi and I said hi but continued my walk to my office and the task that beckoned me. As I continued it dawned on me that it was odd Steve was wearing an oxford on casual Friday and man was it bright. It was really bright I thought, it was really bright YELLOW and it hit me. Yellow Shirt, Yellow Shirt!!!!

As soon as I got to my office I got emotional thinking over and over, yellow shirt, yellow shirt, yellow shirt. I then thought damn Jane, I have this crucial call to make and have to be the most professional I ever have been in my life this is not time to be emotional. I had to get control, I had to do this, there was no changing that this decisive moment was literally about to happen. I took the deepest breath of my life.

I called my boss, he knew fully how torn I had been and was truly supportive of me during the entire process. He asked me if I had come to a decision and I replied, "Fred, I am so truly indebted to you for having supported me in my tenure, presenting me with and amazing job offer, and understanding how incredibly difficult this is for me but at this time and for the foreseeable future, I am not able to relocate back to Boston".

I did it. I put a very large and bold "The End" to an amazing chapter. I know how much work lies ahead of me starting a new chapter in such tumultuous times and although nervous beyond any other point in my life, I am excited and I am happy. But of the most importance, I controlled the fear and did not let it control me. I am in charge of my destiny and I am going to find my happiness.

Happiness vs Money

This is the decision I need to make. I can move along because of having a job and making good money or I can take a risk and stay to continue working toward my happiness. It is not just personal happiness either. The home office is filled with politics, back stabbing and general bull shit that bothers me. It is not my style and honestly I am surprised I have been able to get this far as I do not concern myself with any of that crap. The environment there is repressed and controlling. On the other hand I am not one for risks and is now the right time to start? Either way will be a major change and a lot of work. I am not hiding. I am who I am and worked out issues regarding being true to myself years ago. I am not the corporate type. I do not want to be stranded from my family. When it comes to the day to day things I have only myself to rely on. I have never been so torn. The psychic (not that I am making such a major decision is based solely on that type of input) said to me without prompting that I just need to make a decision and then focus. Sound advice but easier said than done. It is coming down to the wire and as long as I can line things up as best as possible - I will then be able to move down one path instead of straddling two. I can soar - I know it, but need to remind myself often.

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Why I Love Him

Message from Scott in MA to Rick in SD:

"it is snowing and is gonna snow for the next 48 hours - ugh"

Reply from Rick to Scott:

"Make snow angels then!"

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