Jordan

My niece Jordan was in a horrible car accident on 09/24/2018.  She did her best and tried so very hard but she did not make it.  She left on 09/25/2018.  I think about her a lot.  I love all the kids so much.  It is really dard to wrap my head around her now being gone forever.  She was on my mind even more this week and last night I had dreams of her.  It s\dawned on me today that it was exactly 1 year ago today that his picture was taken.  She turned 16 in 2017 and did not want a sweet sixteen party so instead her and her mother and father came to visit me in California.  It was so awesome.  Such a great visit with so many laughs and great memories.  This is us in Carlsbad.  Such lovely, lovely girl.  Many, many great times with her but it means such much more that she was able to come visit me and it was awesome.  I love her so much.

Something Different

When Matt comes to visit folks always say "Whatcha gonna do?"  And I always reply, "I dunno."  Matt used to live here and has visited a million times.  It is very rare he has anything major on his agenda.  Once he requested Disneyland because it has been 50 years since he had been there but other than that he works super hard so is just looking for a vacation.  Plus I do live in the San Diego area so it is not that hard to find stuff to do.  We just get up in the morning and decide upon our day.  The funny part is that even with all the time he has spent here, somehow we always end up with a new experience.  This year it was watching the sunset at Sunset Cliffs.  WOW so tremendous and neither of had ever done this before.  We had a great day in Ocean Beach and then went for a slight drive south to Sunset Cliffs.  We got a parking spot and a bench and hunkered in.  Gabbing and people watching.  Those people in the first photo were jumping off the cliff and Matt said that he would do it if I would.  I did not think I could even get down to the jumping spot never mind have the nerve to jump.  I was just happy with seeing the sunset at this insanely scenic and perfect spot.  Being that it was something neither have us have ever done so I found that thrilling enough for my tastes.  It was so awesome.  The sun goes so slow at first and it felt so nice to have if finally cool off .  All of the sudden the sun just starts to drop like it is the ball in Times Square on New Year's Eve and poof it is gone.  It was beyond amazing!  Adventures with Matt are so phenomenal!

Happy Birthday

It was my birthday and the best I can remember since my 30th (which as an awesome party).  I had been in a funk and a rut all of 2018 but Matt was here all week and he got me turbo charged and headed back in the right direction.  His company is so awesome and to have him near this of all weeks was incredible.  I know what to do but doing it was just a major hurdle.  I don't know why but I will see if I can get to the root of that, I need to.  But I am re-charged and ready to go now.  This is card from Kym.  She is terrific and Matt and her and I got to have dinner this week together.  How awesome to have two special people at my side..  both Lechmere folk too..  oh Lechmere.  I have to reconnect and keep this major boost moving that Matt gave to me, such a wonderful birthday present.  Getting back to this blog is part of the plan!  We will be speaking more.

I Hear Ya

Oh my goodness!  My ear was blocked for 6 weeks!  It was so crazy.  I don't remember getting water in it but after my shower on 01/12/2018 my ear was blocked and stayed that way for 6 weeks!  I went to urgent care, then to my doctor and then to a specialist.  The just kinda all scratched theirs heads because I did not have the flu, a cold and didn't travel by airplane.  I go next week for an MRI and soon for a hearing test but luckily my hearing came back.  Sometimes it goes out but nothing awful like when it was blocked.  I am going to have them do all the test they want to but I am so glad it came back.  Although my other ear was fine, it was so unsettling.  They told me it could take 3 months to come back and I might need surgery!  I was so frustrated that I could not hear but so depressed too that it may not come back.  Really goes to show you to appreciate what you have.  I am fortunate it came back and want it to stay!  We will see what the MRI and hearing test say but I am feeling positive again.  The strangest things happen to me.

Not Sure If I Will

There has been a lot if stories lately regarding the Breakfast Club.  Perhaps it is because that famous detention took place on 03/24/84 and 03/24 is coming up soon.  It really did, that date was mentioned in the beginning of of the movie, and it was a Saturday - I checked.  In the stories I have been reading there was mention of a documentary about the movie so I tracked it down and watched it.  The documentary was good, I liked it a lot.  It had great insights and points made by the stars.  But what it started churning in my mind is when I saw it in the theaters.  It is a very distinct and clear memory that I have.  I saw it on opening night and it is actually the only time I ever saw it.  That does not mean I did not like it as I have mentioned before I rarely watch movies more than once.  I remember going with my friends Frank and Tom and we saw it in Woburn and I was really taken back by it all.   There is tons of dialogue and I remember thinking some of it was too much for me.  The Judd Nelson character freaked me out and was way too loud and scared me a bit.  I had bad experiences with guys like that..  bruises and marks and stuff.  None of those guys I met like that had that a truly sage and soft human hiding inside that I was aware of, they were just super mean.  I did like the movie a lot though and remember going to Denny's after with Tom and Frank and we just talked about it the whole time and you know how much I love talking.  It was wild how much it spoke to us.  16 Candles is more me and I have watch that a couple times because it is way softer and sillier.  The night with Tom and Frank was a great night.  They were so supremely different from each other.  It really imprinted in my memory and I have conceded many times my memory is fairly shaky.  Now I am trying to think if I want to see it again.  I feel it will have aged well.  I definitely like the idea of tripping back to the mid 80's of course but maybe that perfect memory of an amazing movie and an amazing night needs to be left as is, perfect in perpetuity.  If I do end up watching it again, I will let you know how it goes.

Frankincense

Today a super jumbo surprise delayed Christmas presents arrived!  It was from my sister and her family and had all sorts of great stuff.  It was a really big box and it was packed with tucked inside this candle!  I was dying over it because it is Frankincense..  that is what baby Jesus got and I know that is why my sister got it!  I am not making fun of religion, it is good for people to believe in something bigger than themselves but I am a bit infatuated with Jesus, but in an odd sense.  I know my sister was being cheeky when she tossed this in there which is awesome and I appreciate.  But moreover I love it because I know my sister knew I would get a thrill out of getting the same present as baby Jesus, and I did.  So the box of presents made me happy and the same gift as baby Jesus got is fantastic but most of all I love that my sister knew I would love it.  That is really cool.  I live all the way out here but she still knows me that well.  

Maybe....

The year just started so I won't fill it up with negativity but I am bugged.  In the past month or so three friends did actions to me which I did not like so I told them that.  I tried to do it in a polite manner.  I don't have much to bad say about how my friends treat me, quite opposite as it is usually over the top wonderful.  But each time it was met with negativity.  I did tell folks to please don't do that, I do not like it.  I even had to tell one, "Look I am not joking.  I am being serious and this is upsetting to me".  Now I did not ask anyone to convert religions or have a sex change and so I thought my requests would be met with an "Oh ok thank you for letting me know" or even a "Oh I did not realize" but no.  And I am not stockpiling.  In my long term relationship I would stockpile.  I would let a bunch of things go unsaid thinking that when I did say something it would be heard clearly and understood as important.  The world does not work like that.  I realize that now and so do not stockpile.  But I do have the right to say when something is upsetting to me.  I know also though that I do not get the right to always getting the response that I want but it would have at least felt a little better if I even got and "Oh I understand".  Uff maybe I am just becoming a grumpy old man.