... And to amend my life

Ok so I will confess I actually called him last weekend while I was in MA. I do not want a relationship with him in any manner -- I just have too much respect for the small amount of good that there was to leave it in anger, fear and bitterness. I thought perhaps we could at least move the body to a better resting place. Of course his terrific spin was that I can not let it go after 2 years. Funny when he is the one the who prolonged the death of the patient. I pulled the plug back in August of 2004 (perhaps a post one day to explain but not today).

Of course there was yelling and words of hate from him but luckily I do not subscribe to the philosophy of he who is loudest is right. He unfortunately is still 14 and pissed that his mother died and left him with a shitbag of a father. I have empathy for what was clearly a life altering event however it is his fault not hers that he chooses to live without compassion and sees the world as crap.

I am glad with my pleasant thoughts yet do not mull them over using rose colored glasses. As stated previously in this blog -- my attitude is that, it is what you make it --- not it is what it is.

Michelle's Memories

All the vacations you took to clean your room. Then came the move. You finally emptied your grandmothers drawers.

Editor's Note: I know that the road to hell is paved with good intentions but I really did take all that time off to clean my room. I try so hard not to be a pack rat but it is definitely a constant struggle. Special super thanks to Judy who spent the first day of her recent vacation cleaning my apartment. It has never looked so good and then super bonus she helped me rearrange the place. Such a cruel twist of fate that I am the only gay man that needs a visit from the Queer Eye guys.

Two Great Tastes...

A cutie porn star and one of my all time favorite 80's song.
It is a wonderful life.

One Bad Apple

It drives me nuts that I have so many good, happy and cherished reasons to go back to Boston and yet here I sit thinking of just the one bad apple. I guess I could learn the fine art of pretense that he has masted. I prefer instead to meet it head on. Funny, it just dawned on me how many times he told me ---- it is what it is. Nope, not for me ---- for me it is what you make it.

Boston here I come!

I've got a Secret

But only Pedro knows it and he is not telling anyone!

The Tour Continues

We had a great time in SD - as you can tell by this picture we took in Balboa Park. Moving on to LA now for a couple days for some more fun!

Michelle's Memories

Bonnie Pointer, you, me and Neelam.

Editors Note: Oh how fun was this. It was at a club in Boston named Oz near Quincy Market that lasted about one week. She sang in the middle of the dance floor and we all danced around her. I say we because there was only like 10 people including us. Every time I hear this song I always think of that night and the fun we had. So glad the Village People cancelled!

Bonus Memory: I remember dancing with this very cute guy. It was one of the first times I had danced with a man that I did not know at a gay bar and for some reason workboots are very clear in my memory - hmmmm. I was so excited but did not speak to him. This was well before the internet so later I placed an ad in the Phoenix under the Missed Chances section and I actually got a letter in response! I promptly sent a letter back with a photo of myself and the story stops there. I never got anything back. Just another in a long string of heartbreaks but c'est la vie - I still love this memory through and through