Eileen - You Are Welcome!

It is not as good as seeing a spring flower in your own yard but it is the best I can do as even I only have only so much magical ability. I clearly remember the day I saw this flower as I had never seen a hibiscus in this color combination before. I thought how great it is that I just get to walk outside and see such an amazing thing, even in the winter. But for amazing of a thing it is - it is not nearly as amazing as you. Hang in there as the first day of spring is getting closer and closer everyday.

An Idea

I think I might invest in a Scott Cam as I am convinced that people would wet themselves watching me in my kitchen trying to mimic the choreography in this video as I wash the dishes. For now you will have to click play and let your mind make the visual for you!

Can You Text on this Thing?

I was going through my checkbook - I barely use it but noticed today a wad of papers in it. Among those wad of papers I came across this picture. I don't know why it is in my checkbook. I don't know who it is of as I bought it somewhere along the line. But I do think it is a cute and funny picture. I have been thinking of a specific postcard lately and cannot locate it so this weekend I plan on cleaning my closet. Oh where is Michelle the organizer extraordinaire when you need her - lol. I can only imagine the treasures I unearth and know I will spend the majority of my weekend surrounded by them. Once I am gone for good, the only regret I will have is that I will not be able to see the poor faces of those that have to clean through my stuff. I am sure the confused looks will be priceless.

I Can Imagine This Is Difficult

From TIME:
Borderline patients seem to have no internal governor; they are capable of deep love and profound rage almost simultaneously. They are powerfully connected to the people close to them and terrified by the possibility of losing them — yet attack those people so unexpectedly that they often ensure the very abandonment they fear.

From the Mayo Clinic:
With borderline personality disorder your image of yourself is distorted, making you feel worthless and fundamentally flawed. Your anger, impulsivity and frequent mood swings may push others away, even though you yearn for loving relationships.

From NIMH:
People with BPD often have highly unstable patterns of social relationships. While they can develop intense but stormy attachments, their attitudes towards family, friends, and loved ones may suddenly shift from idealization (great admiration and love) to devaluation (intense anger and dislike). Thus, they may form an immediate attachment and idealize the other person, but when a slight separation or conflict occurs, they switch unexpectedly to the other extreme and angrily accuse the other person of not caring for them at all. Even with family members, individuals with BPD are highly sensitive to rejection, reacting with anger and distress.

Youth in the 80's

I am a bit stuck on the whole current teenage movie genre so I had to see Youth in Revolt with Michael Cera. I don’t get it as he plays the same character in every movie I have ever seen him in, PLUS I really think he has worn the same wardrobe in every movie he has been in also. But I am compelled as well as stuck as usual. I just don’t get these current teenage movies, like Juno, as they are so not real. All the characters are so interested in showing they know everything they speak like those search engine commercials where the person goes in robot fashion from one obscure subject to the other. I really see them as grown up fantasies of AV nerds, now movie producers, and how they wish high school was. At least John Hughes had some respect about it all and let his characters, like Samantha in 16 Candles, act like she knew everything when it was clearly known she was just as confused as any teenager should be. Even Ferris Bueller for as cocky as he was, still did not have the world so neatly figured out in every single possible aspect.

All that being said, I loved the movie! How could I not? It is a nerd fantasy and I love the idea a world where the nerd is king and the jock is a schmuck. I stare in amazement of this one character of Michael Cera’s and think, “Oh how great to have a world of reverse reality where the most awkward person ever is the person everyone wants to be around”. So I shelled out my cash and enjoyed and will probably do the same for the next Michael Cera movie as well.

Is There Anything Better than a Great Love Story?

I went to happy hour with Erin and Lily this week - the carpoolers. Erin had the best news - she got engaged and is getting married this April in Vegas. I am so thrilled for her! She is lovely. I keep thinking how happy I am for her but really it is her fiance that won the jackpot and should get the congratulations. They work so well together and I can only imagine the lifetime of love they have ahead of themselves. Yay!

Song Lyric Stuck in My Head This Week

Show my heart some devotion
Push aside those that whisper never
Feel like a child
On a dark night
Wishing we could spend it together
I could be warm with you smiling
Hold out your hand for a while
The victims
We know them so well

Victims by Culture Club

A White Rose

Julian made for me an amazing white rose and gave it to me on Valentine's Day. I have never received as an adult a handmade valentine. I was touched. I am sure that he did not think this much into it but I found this meaning of a white rose:

A relationship can be commenced with a white rose, hinting your special feelings for your beloved. White roses can be used to express feelings like ' I am worthy of you,' or 'you are heavenly,' etc

I am so going with that. Life is not what you make it - reality is.

Fat Tuesday

Oh I meant to post this yesterday so let's just all pretend.

I have been distracted and therefore very neglectful lately and my waistline has been the poor victim - but I am back on the wagon again. Luckily you can just always get back on the wagon. The real trick in life is staying on but I have never been able to master that one! Anyway -- I will be in MA for a visit in March so I need to get cracking again. I am starting in a better place with my weight than in December so at least I have a head start. The weather has turned wonderful lately so I am walking like a madman again and hoping to assist my weight and my tan - although I do wear sunblock.

The Answer is...

When that reporter guy shows up that I talked about in the below post "Storytime", to find out what my story is. I am just going to show him this cartoon and call it a day. I think it sums everything up.

Happy Valentine's Day

I bought this card one day while digging through a big box of cheap cards at a postcard show. I loved the graphic on the front because of the heart and daisy garlands. So for the grand price of 50 cents I added it to my haul for the day. As is custom, later in the day at home I laid out all the purchased treasures of the day to look at them in greater detail. It was then that I noticed that this particular card which is marked "To My Sweetheart" was mailed in 1917 from Edward to Clifford - so sweet, so touching. That is also when this particular postcard became one of my most beloved possesions. My mind just bounced from one marshmallow cloud to the next after seeing and knowing that Edward loved Clifford.

Hope you have a day full of love, happiness and a marshmallow cloud or two as well!

Of Note

Storytime

I saw on a news show this reporter that takes a globe, spins it, and randomly puts his finger on a location. He then goes to that location and opens the local phone book and randomly put his finger on a listing. After narrowing it down to a name he meets up with that person to hear their story. The point of the news story is that everyone has a story to tell. I have been thinking and thinking - what would my story be?

Winter Weather

I have been reading about the winter weather back east. Sounds nasty although it also sounds like Boston was spared. Thought a bit of winter fun was in order. Nuns can be funny.

A Place in the Sun

It is cloudy, overcast and chilly and supposed to stay that way the whole weekend! I am so going to stay in on the couch watching tv all weekend. I have a feeling there will be plenty of Montgomery Clift and Tennessee Williams movies in my future. Which is good as drama is more enjoyable from Hollywood than real life. Perhaps I will watch "Suddenly Last Summer" which is a combo of both Monty and Tennessee - oh let the human drama unfold.

Another Groundhog Day

Oh it is that day again. Some things just won’t leave that silly old mind of mine – working late, frozen dinners, Aruba, silly button up nylon pants and being more nervous than ever before in my life. I am not obsessed. The few things I do remember in general, I remember vividly. Oh the promise and the excitement. It doesn’t mean any less that it did not pan out. It doesn’t mean any less that it is useless now. It did happen. I am happy it did happen, just as I am happy knowing that it isn’t happening now. It is just a reminder, which is not a bad thing, that no matter how far I go or how old I grow – I cannot change the past, only improve the future.

PS: Just double click the comic to make it bigger is you want to read it.

A Moment

I went to Mission Beach this weekend to get some exercise. I saw this moment and had to take a picture. I do not know these people but am glad they shared, so sweet and so San Diego. I am happy for them and smiled brightly for the rest of my walk. I take joy in this world, even when I have a difficult and challenging week.